The Big Wheel

I didn't realize that I haven't posted anything since June of last year. Wow. I have been thinking about the past a lot lately. It's probably because I left my job and have a lot more time on my hands. Or it's because some old family issues have been coming up in conversation. I spent some time with my little sister today.

I stopped by her job to pick something up, and we got to talking. About A LOT of things. Things from when we were growing up. Anyway I remembered a story. One of the many, many places we lived, we had a neighbor. She was in her mid fifties, and her husband was a truck driver. To make some of her own money, she kept kids at home. I don't think the words "at home sitter" or "in home daycare" had been invented yet. After all, this was decades ago, you know, in the eighties.

This "old" woman as I thought of her at the time didn't like to be home alone when her husband was on the road. Of course, now I can look back and say that she had anxiety. So, she would pay me to A-stay overnight at her house while her husband was gone and B-pay me to help out with all the kids she kept. (Which is by the way, the reason I knew how to change a diaper when I had a baby at sixteen) So I usually had some money stashed. Sometimes my younger, criminally minded siblings would steal my money and go down to the corner store and buy candy. Not that I hold grudges or anything. Really.

The year my youngest sister turned four, she wanted a big wheel REALLY bad. She talked about it all the time. Any of you who know me personally or have read some of my old blog postings know that we were REALLY poor. Anyway, I had some money stashed and I wanted my baby sister to have a nice birthday. I knew my mom didn't have the money for the big wheel or a birthday party. So we took my money and went shopping. We bought decorations, balloons, streamers, birthday cake,  the whole nine yards.

In essence I threw my baby sister a birthday party. At twelve. The best part was that I bought her the big wheel she wanted. With my own money. I am not telling this story to toot my own horn. In my conversation with one of my other sisters, we'll just call her Marlette, you know, cuz that's her name. Anyway in this conversation I suddenly remembered the birthday, the big wheel, the decorations and well everything.

I told my sister this story. She was flabbergasted. She never knew that I had paid for that birthday for our baby sister. Not only did she not know I did it, but she was resentful for years that our sister Alicia, had gotten to have such a wonderful birthday. It just so happened that this same year she had a crummy birthday. Our mother didn't have any money and she had three children with May birthdays. The 15th, the 18th, and the 26th. Needless to say, there were not three birthday parties or even one. I think they other three kids had gotten a cake and a card for their birthday.

So all these years, she has remembered the year that Alicia got the goods and she got cheated. I told her today when we talked about it, as a twelve year old, it NEVER occured to me, that what I did would cause mutiny in the ranks. I just had absolutely NO clue! I just knew that my baby sister wanted a big wheel and the only way she would get it would be if I bought it for her. So Marlette, I am sorry about the year of the big wheel. Had I but known........

Construction is FINALLY Complete

I  think I mentioned that we were in the process of finishing the upstairs in Boo's house so we would have more room. Finally. It's done. Keri is moving her stuff upstairs as we speak. That girl is just beside herself over her new room. Not to mention that she now has her own bathroom and her and Melissa will be sharing the upstairs living room. A year ago, I never thought I would be where I am now.

I know that I don't deserve such a wonderful man as my Boo, but I am grateful for him every single day. Keri told me the other day that she thinks thinks everything happens for a reason. What a smart girl. She pointed out that had certain things not happened at our old house that we wouldn't be here now. It sounds corny but sometimes I think "Wow, this is really real". It all seems like a wonderful dream and at any moment, I expect to wake back in the place I was a year ago. Sometimes I am scared that something will happen to Boo or to me. Just because I can't believe our good fortune. Our lives seemingly melded together pretty well. He is not perfect and neither am I. But somehow it just seems to work.

The girls bought Boo Father's Day cards, which I thought was really sweet. We baked a cake and my sister came over and cooked some food for him and my dad.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty stressful with trying to finish the upstairs and work has been crazy for the both of us. I have had to work a couple of weekends, which I find to be ironic. There was a time when I would have killed to be able to work weekends, cuz we get paid for it. Now, I don't want to be there. I don't need to be there financially. My workload says differently. It says, "You must come in on Saturday and get caught up. If you don't, I will be there on Monday and Tuesday and each day after that until you figure out how to get caught up". I compromised this weekend and brought some stuff home with me.

Working for the same company as Boo is strange in itself. Most everyone knows that we are together. My boss either hasn't figured it out, or he has and has decided not to say anything. We are not sure what, if anything would happen should certain company officials become aware of our relationship. We don't work in the same department, but he is a manager and I have access to certain sensitive information. I am concerned about how our long term future will affect our jobs should we decide to get married. It would have to come out at that point. I have five and a half years invested in that company and Boo has even more than that. I suppose we will have to cross that bridge when we get to it.

Now I must focus on what really matters. Like where I can find a Wii for a reasonable price for the upstairs living room.

Trying To Catch Up

As I mentioned in my last post, the girls and I are living with Boo. His house has three bedrooms downstairs and and unfinished upstairs. Until now that is. The bedrooms downstairs are sort of small so Boo is finishing the upstairs for the girls. There will be a living room, bedroom, and living room when the work is finished. We hope to be mostly finished by the end of next week. The drywall is up, the walls are painted and the tile has been laid in the bathroom. I really can't believe he is doing all that for my girls. I spent ten years as a single parent. I was sort of resigned to being single for the rest of my life. I was even pretty happy about it. I really had no idea what was in store for me when I met Boo.

When I first started crushing on him, I just thought he was really smart and had pretty eyes. Little did I know there was a lot more to him than that. He is truly one of the kindest men I have ever had the good fortune to know. He is very good to my girls and to me. He does laundry, dishes and will even clean the toilet. He is not rude or disrespectful or demeaning. I won't carry on and on though it's tempting.

Keri was not at all impressed when we first started dating. She was not very happy for me to have ANY man in my life. She slowly came around once she realized how kind he is. Yesterday I was driving her to stay the night with a friend. She told me that she refers to him as her dad. I was shocked, touched, and in awe. Keri's father disappeared from her life a couple of years ago. I don't want to get into that here. I am very happy that she didn't lose all trust in men. It would have been easy and understandable for her to feel that way.

I really feel like the four of us are a family. It just goes to show you that you never know what the future holds. Did I mention that I was single for TEN FREAKIN' years?

Changes Are Afoot

It seems like a lifetime has passed since the last time I sat down to write. A quiet evening at home with not much going on, has my fingers itching. Let's see, a lot has been going on. First, the kids and I moved in with my Boo. Without going into a lot of details, my living situation become impossible. Boo and I discussed it and decided the girls and I would move in with him. It's not the perfect situation in the sense that I didn't want to live with a man without being married. I wanted to set an example for my girls. However, when backed into a corner I feel I made the best decision for everyone.

Things have really changed for us since the move. I had been struggling financially for quite a while before the move. That area of my life has improved DRAMATICALLY. What else. Oh, Melissa graduated high school with honors....in three years. She went to summer school last summer and skipped her junior year. Honestly, it took me by surprise. She kept telling me she was going to do it, but I was doubtful.

I have to say that the day she graduated was one of the proudest moments of my life as her mother. I quit school as a young teenager, and so did most of my family. This accomplishment was a big deal for everyone. I walked around in motherly pride, for a couple weeks. It seems to me that if you get all puffed up with motherly pride, something bad is bound to happen, and it did. Because we moved so close to the end of the school year, I didn't want the girls to have to change schools. Melissa became Keri's personal chauffeur for the remainder of the school year. Well almost. 

Then one day a few weeks ago, I got ..THE PHONE CALL. My phone starting buzzing while I was at work. I saw it was Keri, and answered the phone. I hear a very tearful "Mmmooommmmyyyy" on the other end of the phone, followed by silence. "Hello....hello....Keri?" I say. A man gets on the phone and asks me if I know Melissa. I said that I did and she was my daughter. This man (who was the principal of Keri's school) ripped into me. The phone kept breaking up and I couldn't understand everything he said. The gist of it was that Melissa had tried to run over one of the teachers with her car. My Melissa. My Melissa, who hasn't even been grounded since she was fifteen. My Melissa who NEVER gets into trouble. Let me say that Melissa did not try to run over a teacher with her car. That's ridiculous. What she did do, was cuss said teacher. The teacher was trying to hurry Melissa through the carpool line. Melissa was driving slowly, looking for her sister. The teacher kept waving at her and telling her she needed to drive up to the cone. Finally after a few minutes, Melissa says, "I'm trying find my f-ing sister!".

Now, how that got turned into Melissa trying to run her over, I don't know. While I know it was inappropriate of her speak that way to a teacher, it was more inappropriate of that teacher to flat out LIE... and say Melissa tried to hit her with her car. Anyone who knows my daughter, knows she is not an attempted murderess.  Really. OK, maybe she needs her mouth washed out with soap, but let's not get carried away. The principal kept telling me that she was NEVER EVER to set foot on school property AGAIN. He also informed me that he would be filing a petition. A petition? What kind of petition? Parents Against Cussing Teenagers or something? I wondered if maybe he MEANT to say he would be filing charges against her. I thought, "Doesn't he know she just graduated.....with honors....in three years" I thought to myself. Apparently he didn't get that memo.

See what I mean? You go and get all proud and then something like this happens. Oh well. So Melissa is going away to college in the fall. I can't believe it. God  eighteen years went by fast. It has been a little traumatic for me to face having my firstborn fly the coop so to speak. There have been several nights where I laid in bed crying. This is a pain that even Boo can't help. I am so grateful to have him to lean on, but it's still hard. Hard to think of my baby out in the cold, cruel world without me. Hard to think of her living on a college campus, doing things that I am sure I absolutely don't want to know about. Hard to think that she wont be here with us every day. I cannot describe the joy and laughter that girl has brought to my life. She completely changed my life from the day I found about her existence. She really forced me to turn my life around.

Keri is thriving, although the last time I took her to the mall she walked ten feet in front of me. Which spoke volumes to me. It said, "Mom, you are old and uncool, and frankly I don't want to be seen with you. Just fork over your wallet and be on your merry way". Let's recap. Melissa is leaving me and going away to college. Keri now feels that I am the "most embarrassing person alive". That is a direct quote from her Facebook page. Yeah, that's great. Oh well, at least I still have Boo. As he told Melissa Friday night, he finally started liking me last week.

Check This Out!

Please read the email correspondence below, and tell me what you HONESTLY think. I am pretty hacked and have not sent a response yet. I wanted to calm down and gather my thoughts.


From: Rogers, Susan [SRogers@qualityind.com]


Sent: Monday, March 29, 2010 1:36 PM

To: Mike Snell

Subject: Bus change



My daughter Kering Grace Rogers is a sixth grader at Christiana Middle

School. Her older sister usually watches her in the afternoon until I get

home from work. She has gotten a job in the afternoons and will not be at

home. I would like for Keri to be able to ride the bus to my sister's house

in the afternoon, so that she may receive proper supervision after school.

My sister lives at  blah blah blah. She has two

children attending Christiana Elementary School. Please let me know what bus

number and if this would be allowed until the end of the school year. My

cell phone number is 555-5555 or see my additional contact information

below.

Thank You,



Susan Rogers


HERE IS THE RESPONSE I RECEIVED:


I'm sorry Ms. Rogers but I will not be able to grant your request. Bus routes and capacities are set up using the


students home address. If students are allowed to ride another bus other than the one they are assigned, it

would cause some buses to be overloaded and some buses to be half empty therefore the county would

have to use more buses than are needed. And to be fair we cannot allow one student to ride a different bus

without allowing all students that same opportunity as we transport 23,000 students each day.



So what's the verdict kind readers?

Happy Birthday Melissa

Did I mention that in five days Melissa is having a birthday?

 

Did I mention that it will be a really special one? For her anyway

She will be 18 years old! I can't believe it.

I might look happy, but I'm crying on the inside.

Just look at her. Does she look like a grown woman? Well, not to me.

An interesting side note: If I hit her now it won't be child abuse, it will be assault. Oh Geez, I'm only kidding. I wouldn't hit her that hard.

I'm Back

Everything has been sort of insane since I started dating. You don't realize all that seriously dating someone entails when you already have a family. I have really been beating myself up lately and I decided last night that I am not going to torture myself anymore. After all, life is torturous enough without me doing it to myself. I never really expected to date again. I knew that were still good men out there, I just didn't think there was one for me. Cuz, I'm kinda picky.....and quirky, forgetful, sharp tongued at times, a procrastinator, oh, and I can't keep up with anything-keys, purse, phone, Ipod, you name it. I mean, I can be a little tough to deal with sometimes.

Oh, back to the torture thing. Every time I spend time with Boo, I feel guilty. Even if I have spent six days out of seven with my kids, I still feel bad. I haven't been able to shake it. I feel like I am being a bad mom when I am with him and not them. Sometimes we all do things together, but mostly just him and I. I think we are both being careful about easing him into their lives. I spend no more than two nights a week with him. Usually we go out once during the week, and I spend the night over at his place one weekend night. He doesn't stay at my house. Right now I have pretty strong feelings about setting an example for the girls.

Farrell, since I think you are the only other single mom I know in the blogging world, I think of you often. Girl, there is a lot you don't think about "pre" boyfriend. I want to be really careful about my wording here, because it's very important that it doesn't come off as complaining. I feel extremely blessed to have this amazing person in my life. He is pretty much exactly the kind of person I need and want in my life. That doesn't mean that having this relationship comes without some sacrifice. My house never seems to be as clean as I think it should be. My God, the laundry. The laundry in this house has taken over. See when you are spending even part of your weekend with your boo, it takes away that time that you would normally be walking around in sweatpants on a Saturday morning, with your hair in a ponytail doing laundry and household chores. doing something extremely independent and exciting.

I also have become a football fan. Let me make this clear. I will watch our Titans play on TV, and I will go to a Titans game. Other than that, I don't watch football. I told him when we first started talking that I'm not really into sports. But I also think if you are going to be in relationship, you should at least try to take an interest in what they are interested in.

I never thought I would have someone in my life who treats my kids the way they should be treated. This man does. Without having to be "taught" or told certain things. He doesn't have any kids, but he is great with mine. Keri is experiencing some jealousy, but all the negativity is directed at me, not him. I am actually grateful for that. I would much rather her take it out on me than him any day. After all, I have years of experience, I know exactly how to deal with her.

Melissa on the other is extremely laid back about the whole thing. For example, last night I called her and told her I was going to have a drink with Boo on my way home. Her response was. "OK that's fine, I'll see you later". Keri called me cuz apparently Melissa didn't mention my plans to her. She asked me where I was. When I told her, in a very flat monotone voice, "Oh, OK".

Speaking of Melissa, did you know she will 18 on the 19th of this month? Eighteen years old, I can't believe it. I swear it seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms. No one told me it would happen this fast. When I look at her, I still see my little girl. HW, I imagine you felt that way about Blake, especially when he enlisted. It's not fair that I have raised this girl for all these years and I am expected to just abruptly cut my apron strings. It's going to be really hard. She is applying for college, looking forward to graduation, and I just don't feel ready for all this.

On a more fun note, here are some of the most recent quotes. They don't stop being funny just cuz they get older.
I am going to set up this first one. I wore overalls to work on Monday for year end inventory. I have to go out in the plant and it's really dirty out there. I didn't want to ruin any of my good clothes. I left the house at 5 freakin thirty am, therefore neither one of the girls saw me until I got home that evening. Melissa walks into the kitchen and says:

Oh my God! What are you wearing?


Me: Overalls. We had inventory today


Melissa: That's ridiculous (a pause here)


Melissa: Did Boo see you in that?

I didn't think the overalls were that bad.

Driving in the car with the girls:

Melissa: Mom, guess what! My friend might be able to get us "New Moon" on DVD. He/She knows how to get pie-rated movies.


Me: (laughing hysterically) You mean pirated movies? Baby they are not called Pie-rated movies


Melissa: It's the same thing


At home a couple of days ago:

Me: I can tell that someone has been wearing my slippers. I can tell that because they are not in the same place I left them this morning.


Keri: (With a very innocent look on her face) Punkin! (Punkin is our cat btw)

Yes, I am sure the cat was wearing my slippers that day.

In the car last week.

Keri: Ew, that's gross. That burp tasted like cheeseburger


Oh I told my friend Kym the story about the overalls tonight. She informed me that I have to throw them away and NEVER WEAR THEM AGAIN!! I told her I will be taking her advice into consideration.
******************

Have I ever mentioned that I have never shopped on Black Friday?

Well I did this year. Wal-Mart was offering the same sales online and in the stores. I put the item in my online cart. I had it all planned out. I would get up at 4:45 am on Friday, click "buy" and go back to bed. Right? Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong. I clicked "buy" and got a lovely message in red bold print that read "sold out". I was pretty desperate. The item I wanted was regularly 119 bucks. It was on sale for 59 bucks. I did the only thing a desperate, broke, mother could do. I threw on my coat, and out the door I went....In my pajamas....without brushing my hair......or my teeth.......or taking a shower.....or putting on makeup.

It was not nearly as bad as everything that I have heard. I stood in line for 30 minutes, struck up a pleasant conversation with the people in front of me and was back home by six...ish. The secret to black Friday shopping is all in the shopping carts. Don't get one! I was able to manuever much more quickly than the customers who had buggies. Annnnddd the best part was I actually found what I was looking for.