Don't Hate Me Because I'm Skinny

I have always been thin. When I was little I was skinny and had knobby knees. Trying to find clothes that fit was a nightmare. Most of my clothes were hand-me-downs anyway. It was rare that there would be something “just my size”. Being told how skinny I was all the time didn’t really affect how I felt about myself until I reached adulthood. After all, it wasn’t really an insult. I remember the first time I felt truly offended by a stranger’s comment about my size. I was in my early twenties working as a receptionist. A fast talking, smooth salesman came into the lobby area. I remember how he just kept going on and on about how skinny I was.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he suggested that I needed to eat some doughnuts. I felt very insulted. I used his business card to call his supervisor and complain. Most people would not walk up to an overweight person and point out how overweight they are. Nor would they offer suggestions as to how the overweight person might be able to lose some weight. That would be considered rude. Yet people don't think twice about offering suggestions on how I could gain weight. I have been told many things over the years. I was told to drink beer, once an elderly lady in the grocery store told me to drink milkshakes to put on weight. I'm sorry but that is just rude. I couldn't help being skinny any more than my sister could help being a little naturally chubby.

I am sorry if you look at food and gain weight. For many years I wished that I could look at food and gain weight. I wished that I had a nice curvy behind. I wished that I had nice curvy hips. Thankfully, after years of this, The Lord(and time and age) has smiled upon me. When I got pregnant with Sissy I weighed 99 pounds. 99 pounds. Now, at 32 my average weight is 115. It makes me so proud.

There is nothing more insulting than being told you look anorexic, or being asked flat out if you are. I was even asked once if I was bulimic. Like I would just admit to it outright if I was. That is the equivalent of walking up to an overweight person and telling them that they are fat and need to lose some weight.

I know this seems like a random blog, but I had to write an English paper and this didn't work out for my paper, but I thought it would make an interesting blog. So if you see me, don't hate me because I am a small woman. I didn't ask for it. It's just what God gave me.

I Need A Clone

Well people.......I have realized that I have too much to do and not enough time to get it done. I have a Math quiz that is due by Thursday-30 questions. Two English papers, both due on Wednesday. Now, since I will be in class on Wednesday and Thursday, I have one evening to get all of it done. I spent all day yesterday on the computer finishing 5 chapters for my online class. I spent tonight completing the 30 homework math problems that are due by Thursday.

It is now ten at night. My behind is sore from sitting in this computer chair all evening long. Yet somehow, I am wrapping up my night with a blog. Some would say maybe my priorities are not in order. To those I would say, kiss my sore behind. A girl's gotta have break every once in a while. I have no one to blame (as usual) but myself. Instead of dedicating my entire Saturday to completing some of these projects, I spent it with my family.

While I didn't regret it at the time, now I am filled with guilt. Something. Will. Not. Get. Done. How do I choose? I need to get all of them done. Unless I stay up half the night tomorrow night, I am in trouble. The problem with doing that is I will have to work all day on very little sleep, then go to class (which is 45 minutes away from home). I will have to sit there for four hours and then drive home at ten at night. This is not very safe.

Truthfully, I think I am too wimpy to pull it off. I knew that taking an extra class this semester was going to be tough. I did it because I want to graduate ASAP. Desperately. My kids want me to graduate. Very desperately. The DQ asked me yesterday if she will still have to fold clothes when I finish school. Hahahaha. Uummm, that would be a big fat yes. While she is a sensitive loving, obedient child, she despises housework. (I think she gets that from her father).

Yet I don't feel guilty about having her help out. It's good for her. It helps me. It teaches her some responsibility. I don't think you do your child any favors by not making them help out. Someday they are going to be out in the real world. In the real world, I will not go over to her house and clean it for her, or do her laundry. I plan to be doing whatever it is that people do when their children are grown. Take up a hobby or something. Buy an RV and travel. Whatever I am doing, it won't be taking care of my grown children's houses.

Well now that I have gone all over the map with this blog, I think I will retire for the evening. My stomach is growling. I haven't even had dinner yet. Sniffle. Sniffle.

You Need A What?!!

If you have seen any of the pictures I have posted of my girls, then you know that The DQ has really long hair. More often than not I end up helping her wash it because of the length. The DQ is EXTREMELY modest so I try to make sure to be sensitive when I am helping her in the bathtub.

This morning as I was helping her wash her hair, I caught a glimpse of her chest. I looked at her to make sure she didn't see me looking. I peeked again. Yep, sure enough the child is getting boobs. I don't know any other way to say it. I was shocked. She just turned nine in August. NINE!!! I didn't even need a training bra until I was in 6th grade. I was eleven. I thought we might have some premature puberty going on when she got some pimples on her forehead a month or so ago, but I was not prepared for the mosquito bites that have emerged.

We made a trip to Wal-Mart and I bought her a..........beginner bra. (I hate calling it a training bra, what are they training for anyway? the Boob Olympics)

The DQ is my baby. I probably wont have any more children, so this is especially difficult for me. She still plays with toys. She still watches cartoons on TV. She wants a Cabbage Patch Kid for Christmas. She still likes me to tuck her in. She has NO BUSINESS getting boobs at nine years old.

That's not the only thing. I discovered that she hasn't believed in Santa for a couple of years now. On one hand, that makes things easier for me. I don't have to hide everything the way I used to. I can put all of the presents under the tree instead of just a few. On the other hand, I really wanted a little more time for her to believe in the magic of Santa.

I had a very serious talk with her about not telling other kids what she knows. I hate that kids ruin it for other kids by telling them the "Santa Secret". Which is not to be confused with "Secret Santa". She has younger cousins and I don't want her blabbing to them about it.

I can't fight time or premature puberty. I can only make the best of it and enjoy the time I left to raise the girls. The older I get and they get, the less I want them to grow up.




















mmmmmm......maybe she's not growing up TOO much.

Christmas Envy and Mean Mama

Have you ever had a week or two that just sucked? That's what the last two weeks around here have been like. I got a scratch on my eye and had to go the eye doctor. He charged me 60 bucks to tell me to wear my glasses for a couple of days until my eye healed.
1. I already had the sense to take out the contacts.
2. He charged me 60 bucks to tell me to take out the contacts.
3. Then he wanted me to come back the next day so he could charge me ANOTHER 60 bucks to "check" on my eye.
4. I thought this was a complete waste of time and money and I did not go back the following day.
5. Couldn't he have just told me over the phone to take out my contacts?
6. He charged me 60 bucks to tell me to take out the contacts.

I screwed up my checking account and bounced checks left and right. I have another question. Why will the bank continue to approve transactions on your check card if you don't money in your account? I'll tell you why. So they make another buck off of you.

One of the cell phones on my account broke. I bought the phone less than a year ago so it was still under warranty. I took the phone to the cell phone company. Guess what. No, really guess. They didn't have a replacement model in the store. They had to have it sent FedEx. Someone had to be there to sign for it or they would send the phone back to the warehouse. I had it sent to my work to ensure it was signed for. The replacement phone I got was all beat up and looked ten times worse then the one I already had.

I was already feeling stressed and irritated. Throughout the day the more I thought about it, the more I seethed. After I got off work I called customer service and complained. The CS representative asked me if there was anything wrong with the phone. I told him I didn't think so, but I take care of my phones and I don't want a phone that looks like someone slammed it on a sidewalk a few times. He suggested I try ANOTHER store location to see if they had a suitable replacement on hand.

I did. They CS rep in the store had not one ounce of friendliness in his entire body. Do you remember the Visine commercial where the very boring, bland guy says in a monotone, "Visine. It. Gets. The. Red. Out. I swear I think this guy works for my cell phone company now.

I was able to get a suitable replacement. It really irritates me that you buy a phone, it breaks, and they act like giving you a decent phone is going to send them into bankruptcy. I spend a great deal of money on cell phones. We have a family plan that includes three phones. The least they could do is send me a decent phone.

Then, a couple of days ago I was getting in Sissy's car and whacked the side of my head on the side of her car. It hurt so bad I felt it all the way down to my jaw. Sissy laughed at me. She laughed at me. I was VERY irritated. I told her it isn't nice to laugh at someone when they are really hurt.

Last night I went over to my sister's house and stayed until about 11 pm. I got home and realized I had left my house keys at her house. I gave up. I drove back across town and just slept on her couch.

My toilet is broken. It leaks water out the back unless you keep the water turned off. I'm broke. I keep hurting myself and I have Christmas light envy. I drive all through my neighborhood and look at all the beautiful outside lights that everyone has put up. Do we have any outside lights? Nope. No inflatable Santa. No inflatable snowman, or reindeer, or elves. No candy canes. No wreath. No garland. I do have some very pretty stuff INSIDE THE HOUSE. WHERE NO ONE can see it. There are a couple of reasons for my being Christmas light challenged.


1. I have NO IDEA how to go about stringing up Christmas lights.
2. I just can't seem to bring myself to spend the extra money on outside decorations.
3. This is because I have bounced checks all over town and I had to pay 60 bucks to the stupid eye doctor who told me to take out my contacts.
4. I am afraid of heights. Even if I did buy the stuff, I think I would hyperventilate if I got up on a ladder.

I have NO clean clothes to wear. My laundry is piled up to the ceiling. This semester is coming to a close and I am up to my eyeballs in school work. I actually left my house today wearing a pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. I have not left my house this dressed down in years. I think it is some kind of single woman phenomenon. I feel like I should at the very least, be wearing a pair of jeans and a cute sweater every time I leave the house. Not today. My family was actually shocked to see me dressed this way. I will say that sweatpants are very comfy. And warm. I might start dressing like this more often. Wouldn't I just be a crazy and wild woman?

Because I am a LITTLE stressed, every little annoying thing is really getting on my nerves. I was going in to work and dropped a couple of things I was carrying. I thought, "That's just great, one more thing going wrong in my life". Isn't it funny how something so stupid can bother you when you are stressed? I confess to being a little on the melodramatic side lately.

On a lighter note, I went to my sister Marlette's house today. We were talking about games we played as kids. One of the games we played was called Mean Mama. The idea is that one kid has a belt and chases all the other kids through the house, hitting anyone who gets too close. I don't mean little taps with the belt. I mean as hard as you can. We thought this was fun. What kind of sick, demented kids play a game like that? Couldn't we have played a nice game of Go Fish? Or Monopoly? I really don't know what was wrong with us. We were really strange yet today, when we were reliving playing that game, we thought it was pretty funny. I was going to break some of this up into more than one blog. Due to my constant procrastination, if I do not blog about all of it now, it will never get done.

O' Christmas Tree

After the flurry of Thanksgiving activity, I find myself unable to do anything more than sit on the couch or sit at the computer. Friday, I went to Martin's Nursery here in town to pick out a Christmas tree. I don't have a truck, so we have to fold down the back seat, shove the tree in as far as it will go and tie the trunk down. I have done this for about the last four years. So, the girls and I pick out the perfect tree load it up and head home. Sissy and I lugged the tree into the house by ourselves and put it in the stand, also by ourselves.
















Thus, the annual family tree decorating ceremony commenced.














































Surprisingly, the girls are EXTREMELY sentimental about helping decorate the tree. If I DARED to pick out or decorate the tree without them, they would try me for mutiny and make me walk the plank. One of the traditions I created several years ago, is to buy an ornament for each member of the family. I try to pick out something that reminds me of them or something that reminds of something about them. Sissy is really into the Christmas spirit this year. I think it's because she officially gets her car at Christmas.

















Anyway, after the tree was all decorated, I decided a trip to the store for milk and cookies was in order. I went out to start Sissy's car and noticed that we had left the trunk open. When I went to close it, it wouldn't snap shut. When I had taken the tree out, I had cut the twine with scissors, leaving the knot still attached to the latch of the trunk. I couldn't find the flashlight so I got out my cell phone and found a lighter. First I tried to burn the twine off the latch. I would also like to point out that it was thirty something degrees while all this was going on. The twine wouldn't burn off. I went back into the house and got a pair of scissors. Now I have my cell phone in one hand (for the light) a pair of scissors in the other and I am trying to cut this small, melted piece of twine off the latch so the trunk would close. WE REALLY wanted those milk and cookies. I stood outside for about 15 minutes trying get the twine off. Finally, I was suggested to me that I use the clicker to hit the trunk button. Maybe the latch was already in the locked position. Sure enough that's what the problem was. So off we went for milk and cookies.

Prior to us decorating the tree, we tested all the lights to make sure they were still working. They were. When we got back from the store, the topmost set of lights had gone out on the tree. Great. Now I have to take everything off the tree, and start all over again. I was not impressed.
I get so excited for Christmas every year. Yet I always forget what pain in the butt tangled up lights are. Tangled hooks too. And lights that don't work. And villages that burn down on Thanksgiving Day. And trunks that wont close. And pine needles all over my floor. And missing ornaments.

My sister also experienced some light issues. I suggested that she test hers before we put them on the tree and sure enough, about half her lights didn't work. We got her light issues handled, and I still hadn't fixed my tree yet. I went back home and started taking the lights off the tree and guess what happened. The freakin' lights started working again. They have been working ever since then. Thank goodness I didn't take all the decorations off the tree. I was too lazy for that. I decided that we could get the lights off without taking the decorations off. If I had taken all the decorations off the tree and then the lights started working, I probably would have pitched the whole tree out the back door. And then burned it. Along with my village.

I have also developed a strange illness recently. Every time a camera comes near me, my eyes start to blink. I can't help myself. Hence the squinty eyed look that will now be seen in all my pictures. I am hoping this is only a temporary illness, brought on by too much picture taking over the holidays.

Thankgiving Day! Hooray!

I was thinking yesterday about how when I was a little girl, I wanted to be an only child. I hated being part of such a big annoying family. Someone was always fighting or taking my stuff. Because I was older than the rest of the kids, I started babysitting at around twelve. I would save my money, and I could always count on someone to find my stash, and go to the store and buy candy with MY money. I would be so furious. I wondered why I had to be born into the family I was born into. Why couldn't I have been an only child? Why?

Then I started thinking about how much fun we have when we all get together now. The joking, the telling of childhood stories, even the bickering. I love all of it. Then I started thinking about how different it must be to be in a small family. Maybe you have a brother or a sister, a couple of aunt and uncles, and that's it. How strange it must be. I can't imagine not having a big family.

I told my sisters last night that God knew I needed to be a part of a big family. I wouldn't be happy otherwise. This is what I am thankful for. All my sisters, Alicia, Dejah, and Marlette. I am so thankful that we all love each other and do not hold grudges over the things we did to each other when we were growing up. We were all a product of our environment, and we have all overcome many obstacles to be the people we are today.

I am thankful that God choose me to be my girls' mother. I am so lucky to have such wonderful children. They are such great kids. They are fun, loving, forgiving, all the things that I want them to be.

I am thankful for the opportunity to go back to school and further my education. Getting an education is a precious thing that should never be taken for granted. It wasn't that long ago when the idea of going to college was like someone telling me I could fly to the moon. I have Sissy to thank for that. If she wasn't here helping me with The DQ on the nights I have class, none of it would be possible.

Everyone came and ate and bickered(exactly as I predicted). You can't have that many strong willed, opinionated women in the same house and not have some differences of opinion. It was a pretty great day overall. Oh I almost forgot. Last week I put up my Christmas decorations (minus the tree). I have a village that I put on top of my entertainment center. I put a couple of tealight candles out around the village to give a holiday glow. All was well until somehow the fake cotton snow underneath the village CAUGHT FIRE. Thank goodness it was a small fire and easily distinguished. It burned the Christmas lights to a crisp. It is the very first picture. Unfortunately, due to some technical difficulties, I am unable to move the pictures around like I wanted to.

In tribute to my family I am in no order listing all the peeps in the pictures:

Me

Melissa

Kering

Nicholas

Logan

Dejah

Marlette

Alicia

My mom

Joshua

Lee

Matthew

Kasie

Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends far away. We are thinking of you today.

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house.......












My sisters very wisely decided that I could not be left alone to prepare the Thanksgiving turkey. They decided to rally the troops and have a turkey intervention.















Bet and Logan injecting that poor defenseless bird. I bet it was fun for the kids to have a chance to be the ones to inject something.















All the kids got to help get the turkey ready. My very important job was to supervise and take pictures. I can't be trusted with raw meat. (No.....really, I can't)















Sissy does not looked pleased.

















I think the adults had more fun than the kids.















The bug boy was an excellent helper!

















From left to right myself, Bet, and Dejah (two of my sisters)




From the top: My daughter "Sissy" next on the left, one of DQ's friends, The DQ, then Bug Boy(my nephew in the red) and Little Fisherman in the yellow (also my nephew)













There was a lot of noise, a little confusion, and a whole lot of fun. Thank goodness my sisters are smart enough to know that I needed serious help with the turkey. My regular blog readers will know that I just recently decided to seriously take up learning to cook. It is my turn to host the annual family Thanksgiving get together, since I have been learning to cook off and on for about a month, I am not ready to deal with a turkey all alone. The thought of trying to serve (gulp) fifteen people was a tad overwhelming. Thank goodness for big families-more people to help!