Almost

It almost passed by without me thinking about it. Almost. Keri is in fifth grade this year. This is her last year in elementary school. This is the last year she will be a “little” kid. I can already see the transition beginning to take place. This year she is asking for money for her birthday. No toys, or even clothes. Cold hard cash. She wants a Hawaiian theme for her birthday party. Definitely no characters.


She is my baby. My last child. There will be no more fruit being birthed from these loins. Next year she will begin to think I am the dorkiest, most lame person she has ever had the misfortune to come in contact with. I will become ancient, old, and uncool. Stupid also. She will think that my best years are behind me, and I should be retiring (or dead) anytime now. The respect she has for me now will go away for a while. I know it will come back later on down the road. She will wonder why she can’t have a cool mom like so-and-so’s mom.

She will think it’s ridiculous that I won’t let her wear makeup when ALL her friends are wearing it. She will think it’s ridiculous that I won’t let her wear that shirt that a street walker wouldn’t be caught dead in. The fragile bond that is between us will be broken for a while. She has always been a “Mama’s Girl”. She has always been my shadow. She loved to play but always wanted to make sure that I was nearby. Even now she will come in the front door calling my name. Looking all over the house until she finds me.

When I was going to college at night, she would always ask me how much longer it would be until I didn’t have to be gone at night anymore. Even recently she said that she is glad I am finished with school. She is glad I am home more now. By this time next year, she will be wishing I had a class to take every night of the week. She will be plotting ways to get me out of the house.

My heart will be aching for the little girl she used to be. I will be wishing that I could make time stand still and she could be with me forever. As we all know, I am doomed to be a crazy cat lady anyway I will long for the days that we would snuggle on the couch together. I will long for the times when I crack a joke and that look of understanding crosses her face, and I know that she GETS my jokes. Until I walk into her bedroom and see that it still looks like a pack of wild pigs live in there. Then I will be counting down the number of years left until she goes to college.