Out Of The Mouth Of Keri

In celebration of Keri’s tenth birthday yesterday, I have decided to compile some stories about her that I don’t THINK I have previously blogged about. I didn’t have a blog when she was little, so this will have to do.


When Keri was about four, she won a goldfish from the fair. We brought the goldfish home and went to the pet store. We bought a goldfish bowl and the whole nine yards. Keri named her goldfish Princess. As adults I’m sure we all know what happened to poor Princess. She died within several days. That kid cried her eyes out. You would have thought that fish had been around for years. She cried and cried and cried some more. I think she wailed something like, "Ppprrinnncceesssss, my princess is dead. My poor little princess".

 I used to work a couple of weekends a month. The company I work for pays salary employees for working weekends. The money is pretty good. Keri and I were in the car on the way to the office on a Saturday morning. I was explaining the reasons that I had to work that day. “I really need to get caught up on some things, and besides Mommy makes extra money for working on Saturdays”. We get to my office and Keri is talking to me about work and she says within earshot of my boss and in a loud voice, “YOU JUST WORK ON SATURDAYS FOR THE MONEY. RIGHT MOMMY? YOU JUST LIKE TO MAKE EXTRA MONEY ON THE WEEKENDS”. I wanted disappear. I was so mortified. Of course, I liked the extra money, but I really was behind on paperwork. I’m still not recovered from that.


Just a few days ago while riding around our neighborhood she says to me, “If we win the lottery, can we buy Michael so-and-so’s house and kick him out? I’m not trying to be mean, but he’s a big giant turd”. I see a couple of problems here. Have I raised my daughter to call people big giant turds? Have I raised my daughter to think it’s OK to kick people out of their homes and leave them homeless? Very disturbing. I mean, I know that spite is like my oxygen, but I was hoping it wouldn’t rub off on her.

A few years ago, the three of us were sitting on the deck:
 Keri: Sissy truth or dare?
 Melissa: Truth 
Keri: Is true that you fell asleep during sixth period today?”……….

Keri has always had a love of animals. I got her a cat named Punkin when she was three. Punkin has been a part of our family ever since. One afternoon, we getting ready to leave the house and there was a bee in the car. I am deathly afraid of bees. Keri is too so we both jumped out. The next thing I know, Keri is screaming at the top of her lungs, “MY BABY, MY PRECIOUS ANGEL!!!!” I said, “What baby? What precious angel? Where?” She screams, “PUNKIN, PUNKIN IS IN THE CAR, THE BEE IS GOING TO GET HER!” I comforted her and told her that a mere bee would not take down her cat, and in fact, Punkin would probably eat the bee and save the day. It was almost as if the cat knew that Keri was terrified of bees. When the cat jumped out of the car and I went and looked, the bee was gone. I’m not REALLY sure if the cat got the bee, but I like to think she did.

This last one I did put on my blog a very long time ago. Keri says to me, “Mommy, you are the prettiest mommy in whole world”. Pause, then, “Except for when you’re nekkid, but nobody looks good nekkid”.