The Month In Summary

I am so ashamed that I haven't blogged in a flippin' month. Sit down and get comfortable while I attempt to summarize the last month. Let's see, let's see, where to start. How about with Melissa? OK, works for me. Melissa FINALLY got a job and has been working. Unfortunately, she does not get a lot of hours in. I merely suggested that she keep her eyes open for something that might offer her a few more hours. To which she immediately bit my head off and chewed it up. And swallowed it. (Maybe PMS? I don't know)

Fast forward to last week when she informed me that she is not getting enough hours and she is going to look for another job. HOW SMART!!!!!!! WHERE DID SHE EVER GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT? Not from me, apparently. I guess it's not cool for your mother to offer a perfectly reasonable suggestion. I guess if you are a teenager, you must ignore your mother's advice, wait a few weeks then pretend like it was your idea the whole time. Oh well, guess I can't win them all.

Melissa braces finally came off. She wore them for 2 1/2 years. I am embarrassed to report that I have become the "Retainer Nazi". I find myself constantly squinting at her to see if she is wearing her retainer. If she is not, I immediately begin my tirade about how I spent near 5000 DOLLARS on those braces and she better wear her retainer. Then my head spins around and I levitate off the floor. OK, not really. She is not too happy with this new role that I have taken on. She usually says something like, "Mom, I'm 16 years old. I know I am supposed to wear the retainer. I only took it out so I could eat". Oh, my bad.

Keri has decided to give up her life of being a good kid to become a criminal. I am not allowed to reveal what she did exactly, so I will skirt around it. It involved her and another girl. It also involved vandalism......and toilet paper........and eggs. Nothing was broken or destroyed. I was so shocked that she did this. I just couldn't believe it. My baby. My sweet little girl, turning to a life of crime. OK, OK, I exaggerate. Anyway, she was grounded and made to clean up the mess she made.

In other, other news, I got a part time job. I didn't want to, but I felt I had no other choice. The holidays are right around the corner and we will not be getting bonuses this year. Not to mention those pesky student loans I have to deal with. So I went for the interview on Friday afternoon after work. I figured I would be there for 30 minutes at the most. I was there for.two.friggin'. hours. I have never experienced anything quite like it before. My first mistake was thinking that I would be the only person there for the interview. I arrive at the store. (I will not be revealing the location of my part time job at this time) There were at least ten women in line waiting for the same interview. We stand around for about ten minutes, then we are lead into this sort of meeting room. It was a group interview. I had never heard of such a thing. The first order of business was to let everyone know that if they are not available to work around the holidays, they should just leave.

Next the interviewer began asking questions and each person had to answer said question. The first one was, "If you saw a fellow employee stealing, what would you do and what do you think should happen to them?" Give me a break. Where do these questions come from anyway? If I didn't REALLY need this part time gig, I would have said, "Personally I admire people who steal, and I would NEVER report someone if I saw them stealing. Heck I might even ask them for pointers on how I too can get away with stealing". The rest of the questions were equally lame. Next the interviewer and her "assistant" stepped out of the room on the pretense that they needed to get some paperwork or some such nonsense. What they were really doing was standing outside the door talking about us and deciding who wasn't going to make the cut. Hah! I was right. They came back in and called three people out of the room. Then they came back and said that the rest of us were hired pending a drug screening and reference check.

I have never had to sign anything stating my willingness to work the specified hours. I felt like I was signing my life away. Oh well, at least I can make some extra Christmas money and I get a 15 % discount over and above the sale prices.

We also got invested with fleas, the cat ate a mouse and left the head in the living room, we got rid of the fleas, AND my baby sister Alicia is getting married next week. Whew, I'm tired just thinking about all that. Hopefully this is the end of my hiatus and I am back in blog world. I sure missed you guys.