Did you guys know that girls equal drama? Well, they do, especially in my house. Take Keri for instance. You all know her signature quote, “It hurts really bad Mom”. Which is used for any injuries real or imagined. You also know that I implemented my brilliant plan, Operation: Make Slaves Out of My Children. This operation seems to be successful thus far. With that being said there are still things that I myself must do.
After all, I can’t have them washing my work clothes. I don’t want their grubby little paws anywhere near clothes that I wear to work. Mainly because everything I own must last for EXTREMELY long periods. I should get a good five years out of a pair of slacks. So I was puttering around the house a couple of nights ago, doing things that only I can do. As I performing these various tasks, I notice that Keri has several messes in her bedroom and bathroom. It briefly crossed my mind to clean it up, then I remembered. There is a new world order in this house. I implemented Operation MSOOMC to PREVENT me from having to do everything.
In a calm and reasonable voice I told Keri everything that I saw that she needed to clean up, which went something like this: “Keri, you need to clean up the mess you made in the bathroom. Also I noticed that you have several clean outfits wadded up on the bed. Those need to be hung up in the closet. You also need to pick up your dishes from the computer desk and put them in the dishwasher. There are also a couple of wadded up pieces of paper on your bedroom floor, you need to clean that up too”. (The clean outfits were because she changed clothes three times before settling on an outfit)
No big deal……right? Not in my house. Keri flings herself down on the bed with her face in the mattress. She starts to cry. After a few minutes of ignoring her, I get a little frustrated and ask her what the problem is. Her response was, “I just feel like you gave me so much to do that I don’t even know where to start”, as she boo-hoos some more. Are you kidding me? Now I am a LITTLE upset. I tell her, “Keri, how do you think I feel when I have to come home, cook dinner, wash dishes, sweep and mop, and do laundry everyday? You don’t think I feel like I have too much to do?” Oh the drama! You would have thought I told the kid she had to clean the entire house by herself. I only asked her to clean up the messes that SHE made!!!
She pouted for a few more minutes, and I was forced to use my stern mother voice. I told her that she could pout all she wanted to, but she WAS going to do her share and she WAS going to clean up the messes that SHE made. Aren’t I so mean? Aren’t I just a horrible mother? My blackened heart should be ripped out, baked in the sun and then tied around her neck. I don’t even know how I live with myself.