Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I'm Back

Everything has been sort of insane since I started dating. You don't realize all that seriously dating someone entails when you already have a family. I have really been beating myself up lately and I decided last night that I am not going to torture myself anymore. After all, life is torturous enough without me doing it to myself. I never really expected to date again. I knew that were still good men out there, I just didn't think there was one for me. Cuz, I'm kinda picky.....and quirky, forgetful, sharp tongued at times, a procrastinator, oh, and I can't keep up with anything-keys, purse, phone, Ipod, you name it. I mean, I can be a little tough to deal with sometimes.

Oh, back to the torture thing. Every time I spend time with Boo, I feel guilty. Even if I have spent six days out of seven with my kids, I still feel bad. I haven't been able to shake it. I feel like I am being a bad mom when I am with him and not them. Sometimes we all do things together, but mostly just him and I. I think we are both being careful about easing him into their lives. I spend no more than two nights a week with him. Usually we go out once during the week, and I spend the night over at his place one weekend night. He doesn't stay at my house. Right now I have pretty strong feelings about setting an example for the girls.

Farrell, since I think you are the only other single mom I know in the blogging world, I think of you often. Girl, there is a lot you don't think about "pre" boyfriend. I want to be really careful about my wording here, because it's very important that it doesn't come off as complaining. I feel extremely blessed to have this amazing person in my life. He is pretty much exactly the kind of person I need and want in my life. That doesn't mean that having this relationship comes without some sacrifice. My house never seems to be as clean as I think it should be. My God, the laundry. The laundry in this house has taken over. See when you are spending even part of your weekend with your boo, it takes away that time that you would normally be walking around in sweatpants on a Saturday morning, with your hair in a ponytail doing laundry and household chores. doing something extremely independent and exciting.

I also have become a football fan. Let me make this clear. I will watch our Titans play on TV, and I will go to a Titans game. Other than that, I don't watch football. I told him when we first started talking that I'm not really into sports. But I also think if you are going to be in relationship, you should at least try to take an interest in what they are interested in.

I never thought I would have someone in my life who treats my kids the way they should be treated. This man does. Without having to be "taught" or told certain things. He doesn't have any kids, but he is great with mine. Keri is experiencing some jealousy, but all the negativity is directed at me, not him. I am actually grateful for that. I would much rather her take it out on me than him any day. After all, I have years of experience, I know exactly how to deal with her.

Melissa on the other is extremely laid back about the whole thing. For example, last night I called her and told her I was going to have a drink with Boo on my way home. Her response was. "OK that's fine, I'll see you later". Keri called me cuz apparently Melissa didn't mention my plans to her. She asked me where I was. When I told her, in a very flat monotone voice, "Oh, OK".

Speaking of Melissa, did you know she will 18 on the 19th of this month? Eighteen years old, I can't believe it. I swear it seems like yesterday I was holding her in my arms. No one told me it would happen this fast. When I look at her, I still see my little girl. HW, I imagine you felt that way about Blake, especially when he enlisted. It's not fair that I have raised this girl for all these years and I am expected to just abruptly cut my apron strings. It's going to be really hard. She is applying for college, looking forward to graduation, and I just don't feel ready for all this.

On a more fun note, here are some of the most recent quotes. They don't stop being funny just cuz they get older.
I am going to set up this first one. I wore overalls to work on Monday for year end inventory. I have to go out in the plant and it's really dirty out there. I didn't want to ruin any of my good clothes. I left the house at 5 freakin thirty am, therefore neither one of the girls saw me until I got home that evening. Melissa walks into the kitchen and says:

Oh my God! What are you wearing?

Me: Overalls. We had inventory today

Melissa: That's ridiculous (a pause here)

Melissa: Did Boo see you in that?

I didn't think the overalls were that bad.

Driving in the car with the girls:

Melissa: Mom, guess what! My friend might be able to get us "New Moon" on DVD. He/She knows how to get pie-rated movies.

Me: (laughing hysterically) You mean pirated movies? Baby they are not called Pie-rated movies

Melissa: It's the same thing

At home a couple of days ago:

Me: I can tell that someone has been wearing my slippers. I can tell that because they are not in the same place I left them this morning.

Keri: (With a very innocent look on her face) Punkin! (Punkin is our cat btw)

Yes, I am sure the cat was wearing my slippers that day.

In the car last week.

Keri: Ew, that's gross. That burp tasted like cheeseburger

Oh I told my friend Kym the story about the overalls tonight. She informed me that I have to throw them away and NEVER WEAR THEM AGAIN!! I told her I will be taking her advice into consideration.

Have I ever mentioned that I have never shopped on Black Friday?

Well I did this year. Wal-Mart was offering the same sales online and in the stores. I put the item in my online cart. I had it all planned out. I would get up at 4:45 am on Friday, click "buy" and go back to bed. Right? Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong. I clicked "buy" and got a lovely message in red bold print that read "sold out". I was pretty desperate. The item I wanted was regularly 119 bucks. It was on sale for 59 bucks. I did the only thing a desperate, broke, mother could do. I threw on my coat, and out the door I went....In my pajamas....without brushing my hair......or my teeth.......or taking a shower.....or putting on makeup.

It was not nearly as bad as everything that I have heard. I stood in line for 30 minutes, struck up a pleasant conversation with the people in front of me and was back home by six...ish. The secret to black Friday shopping is all in the shopping carts. Don't get one! I was able to manuever much more quickly than the customers who had buggies. Annnnddd the best part was I actually found what I was looking for.


HW said...

I'm really happy for you as I read your post about your new guy.

I guess taking a load or two of laundry to his house on the weekend isn't a good idea? You could do it while the football games are on and then it wouldn't pile up so much. Just a very unromantic thought.

Do not feel guilty about spending time with him. If Keri is jealous, I wonder how she would respond if she got to go bowling or something with the two of you. Part of her jealousy could also just be moodiness because of her age. Of course since you didn't ask for advice....

It's good that your girls are seeing you in a happy healthy relationship so, again, don't feel guilty.

Yay! for you and your new Boo.

Susiewearsthepants said...

We all did go bowling recently. We are going to a Titans game together all of us on Christmas Day. She really goes back and forth with it. Sometimes it doesn't bother her and other times I could wring her neck. I do forget sometimes that she is "at that age" . Thanks for reminding me! :)

Farrell said...

I'm glad you are back. I would definitely sacrifice laundry for someone really fun to hang out with, but I would not be sitting on my ass for three hours watching football:) But that's just me. Remember, my ex was a sports-addict, so in my mind, I've already put in my time in that respect.

Oh, the jealousy. I think Sophie would be jealous if I met someone. But kids are kids and ALL of their feelings/emotions are confusing and as long as Keri knows she is still your #1 (and I'm sure she does!), she will eventually get over it.

Astarte said...

God, you sound *great*! I'm really, really glad for you. The girls will be OK. It's wonderful that he's treating them so well. How are things with their dads?

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