Oh the joys of Loreal Preference. At the ripe old age of 24 I got my first white hair. It was an extremely traumatic event for me. I wasn't OLD. I was only 24. This was the same year I separated from my husband. I blame it on that.
The problem is that every year since then, the number of white hairs has increased dramatically. I can't in all fairness continue to blame this on my divorce. After all, that was years ago. I love the natural color of my hair. It's unusual, it's pretty even. When I finally resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to start coloring my hair, I was beside myself. I didn't want to change the color of my hair, I liked it.
I went to a wonderful stylist who was able to match my color very closely. I was so excited. I was NOT excited about having to pay 80 bucks for it. In fact, one could say that I was the opposite of excited. I kept this up for a while. This was during what I like to call my "Broke Phase". I was having a good deal of financial difficulties, so the 80 dollar visits to the stylist came to a screeching halt.
I just let the hideous white hair grow in. A couple of years ago, I was getting tired of the white hair. I am still a young woman and I don't want to look like some white headed witch. So, with much fear and trepidation in my heart, off I went to the drug store. It was the first time in my entire life that I attempted to color my hair on my own. I was petrified. What if it looked hideous? What if it looked hideous and I couldn't wash it out? What if it just stayed hideous forever? I agonized what seemed like forever over which hair color I thought matched my hair the closest. Finally I made my choice and headed home to change history.
I went home and read the directions carefully. OK. I could do this. With a little help from Sissy I colored my own hair. I was about 30 years old. I don't think most women go that length of time without at least trying a new color. Not me. I like everything the same........same, same, same. Sameness is comforting to me.
I was really surprised. My hair didn't fall out in clumps. It didn't turn some grotesque color. The coloring didn't sear my scalp, or break me out in a rash. In fact, it looked really good. It was VERY close to my natural color. This began a beautiful friendship between myself and Loreal Preference.
Because my schedule got really crazy the last part of the year, I really hadn't given much thought to my hair. It was the least of my worries as my regulars will know. I was REALLY looking at it Friday night. It looked bad. Really bad. The white hairs were attempting a hostile takeover of epic proportions. So, off I went to the drugstore on Saturday. It had been so long since I colored my hair, that I forgot how good it looks. I know that one day the WH (white hairs) will achieve their takeover attempts. Just not today. Thank you Loreal, thank you very much.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Dear Dejah
Dear Dejah,
I know you are miserable, uncomfortable, and tired. (At seven months pregnant I wouldn't expect anything else) You are all the aforementioned things. You are also beautiful. I have never seen a belly like that look so cute. When you are not pregnant, you are sweet, generous and loving. You have become an excellent mother and sister. Every time I need you, you are there. Even when I don't need you, you are there. You are the sister who let me move into her two bedroom, one bath house when I decided I wanted to move here to be closer to my family. Yep, two bedrooms, one bath, four kids, and two adults. The kids were ages 2, 4, 6, and 12. Yet you gladly opened your small home to me and my daughters. Things weren't always easy, but we made it work. You helped when Sissy was going through what I like to call her "Adjustment Phase". I know I have not always been an easy person to love. I know I have not always been an easy person to reach out to. I thank you for loving me even when I was pretty unlovable. (And that was a lot.........for a long time) I know I go through phases where I seem to need you a lot. Thank you for putting up with me. Your acceptance, friendship, and companionship mean more to me than I could ever say. I have been so blessed to have you in my life. (Even though it hasn't always felt like a blessing to me) I remember when we were kids I would be mean to you, then you would steal my stuff. Then I would say mean things to you. Then you would steal more of my stuff. I really hated it at the time. As an adult I can understand why we did all the things that we did to each other. Now, I would give you anything that I could if I knew you wanted it. (Except for my Ipod) I know you are moody and ill. Remember, this too shall pass. I vow to put up with your moody, ill self, as you put up with me being that way and I wasn't even pregnant. I am sorry I threw the container of hamburger helper at you that time when we lived in NC. I didn't really want to hurt you, I just wanted you to shut up. I am sorry I pushed you away when you were pregnant with Nick. (Also when we lived in NC) I am sorry I smacked you around when were kids. (Until you got big enough to smack back) I am sorry that I didn't like you much for a while. It was because someone told me a lie about you and I believed it. I am sorry I hid in your room like a coward the other night when you and Marlette got into it. I confess that I was saving myself.
I know the road you are traveling now is not an easy one. I promise I will do whatever I can to help. You only have to ask. I am so thankful for the relationship we have now. I am thankful that you are the loving, forgiving, giving person that you are. I am glad you are my sister. I am also glad that since I am the smallest of the girls, that you would beat someone up for me if I needed you to.
Your Grateful Sister,
Sue
(Susie)
P.S. Thankfully, the ill, moodiness has not been directed at me personally(yet).
Epilogue:
Within hours of posting this blog I got the receiving end of your hormonal, ill-tempered self. That's OK I love you anyway.
I know you are miserable, uncomfortable, and tired. (At seven months pregnant I wouldn't expect anything else) You are all the aforementioned things. You are also beautiful. I have never seen a belly like that look so cute. When you are not pregnant, you are sweet, generous and loving. You have become an excellent mother and sister. Every time I need you, you are there. Even when I don't need you, you are there. You are the sister who let me move into her two bedroom, one bath house when I decided I wanted to move here to be closer to my family. Yep, two bedrooms, one bath, four kids, and two adults. The kids were ages 2, 4, 6, and 12. Yet you gladly opened your small home to me and my daughters. Things weren't always easy, but we made it work. You helped when Sissy was going through what I like to call her "Adjustment Phase". I know I have not always been an easy person to love. I know I have not always been an easy person to reach out to. I thank you for loving me even when I was pretty unlovable. (And that was a lot.........for a long time) I know I go through phases where I seem to need you a lot. Thank you for putting up with me. Your acceptance, friendship, and companionship mean more to me than I could ever say. I have been so blessed to have you in my life. (Even though it hasn't always felt like a blessing to me) I remember when we were kids I would be mean to you, then you would steal my stuff. Then I would say mean things to you. Then you would steal more of my stuff. I really hated it at the time. As an adult I can understand why we did all the things that we did to each other. Now, I would give you anything that I could if I knew you wanted it. (Except for my Ipod) I know you are moody and ill. Remember, this too shall pass. I vow to put up with your moody, ill self, as you put up with me being that way and I wasn't even pregnant. I am sorry I threw the container of hamburger helper at you that time when we lived in NC. I didn't really want to hurt you, I just wanted you to shut up. I am sorry I pushed you away when you were pregnant with Nick. (Also when we lived in NC) I am sorry I smacked you around when were kids. (Until you got big enough to smack back) I am sorry that I didn't like you much for a while. It was because someone told me a lie about you and I believed it. I am sorry I hid in your room like a coward the other night when you and Marlette got into it. I confess that I was saving myself.
I know the road you are traveling now is not an easy one. I promise I will do whatever I can to help. You only have to ask. I am so thankful for the relationship we have now. I am thankful that you are the loving, forgiving, giving person that you are. I am glad you are my sister. I am also glad that since I am the smallest of the girls, that you would beat someone up for me if I needed you to.
Your Grateful Sister,
Sue
(Susie)
P.S. Thankfully, the ill, moodiness has not been directed at me personally(yet).
Epilogue:
Within hours of posting this blog I got the receiving end of your hormonal, ill-tempered self. That's OK I love you anyway.
I Wanna Talk About Me(Well Not Really)
OK-Here is a question. Have you ever had someone in your life who is emotionally high maintenance and needy? And are they really this way or are they just self centered? There are apparently people in this world that think that everything revolves around them. Someone is not being nice to them, or someone never calls them, or they are being mistreated in some way. If you are one of these people, I have a news flash for you. The world does not revolve around you.
Neither I or anyone else I know, spends our time trying to come up with ways to please you. For that matter, neither do we sit around trying to think up ways to hurt your feelings. It is not my personal responsibility to see to your emotional well being. That's YOUR job. If you feel hurt or left out it is YOUR responsibility to express that to those around you. I have a suggestion. Call and invite some of the people you think are ignoring you over for lunch. Make the first move. If you are one of these people, it is not the job of everyone else in the world to keep the relationship going. YOU could take the first step.
I know it's scary. Maybe if you put forth a little effort, everyone would see that you are trying. All we see now is a lot of talk. And the fact that you hold US completely accountable for having a relationship with YOU. You put forth NO EFFORT what so ever, then blame everyone else for your lonely state. Get off your butt and do something about it. Quit blaming all of us for the way you feel about yourself. We all want to be your friend, but all you do is bring people down and point out everything that is wrong with them. YOU my friend, are not perfect either. The Bible says, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". That includes Y-O-U.
Sorry if I seem harsh. Everyone is tired of the blame you place on others for your general lack of happiness. Sorry buddy, that's a burden I simply do not have to take on.
No one is going out of their way anymore to try to make you feel included. We have all done our part and yours too. From here on out, it's up to you. Take the focus off yourself and shift it to other people. You might just be surprised. Good Luck!
Neither I or anyone else I know, spends our time trying to come up with ways to please you. For that matter, neither do we sit around trying to think up ways to hurt your feelings. It is not my personal responsibility to see to your emotional well being. That's YOUR job. If you feel hurt or left out it is YOUR responsibility to express that to those around you. I have a suggestion. Call and invite some of the people you think are ignoring you over for lunch. Make the first move. If you are one of these people, it is not the job of everyone else in the world to keep the relationship going. YOU could take the first step.
I know it's scary. Maybe if you put forth a little effort, everyone would see that you are trying. All we see now is a lot of talk. And the fact that you hold US completely accountable for having a relationship with YOU. You put forth NO EFFORT what so ever, then blame everyone else for your lonely state. Get off your butt and do something about it. Quit blaming all of us for the way you feel about yourself. We all want to be your friend, but all you do is bring people down and point out everything that is wrong with them. YOU my friend, are not perfect either. The Bible says, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". That includes Y-O-U.
Sorry if I seem harsh. Everyone is tired of the blame you place on others for your general lack of happiness. Sorry buddy, that's a burden I simply do not have to take on.
No one is going out of their way anymore to try to make you feel included. We have all done our part and yours too. From here on out, it's up to you. Take the focus off yourself and shift it to other people. You might just be surprised. Good Luck!
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