Saturday, January 26, 2008

Dear Dejah

Dear Dejah,
I know you are miserable, uncomfortable, and tired. (At seven months pregnant I wouldn't expect anything else) You are all the aforementioned things. You are also beautiful. I have never seen a belly like that look so cute. When you are not pregnant, you are sweet, generous and loving. You have become an excellent mother and sister. Every time I need you, you are there. Even when I don't need you, you are there. You are the sister who let me move into her two bedroom, one bath house when I decided I wanted to move here to be closer to my family. Yep, two bedrooms, one bath, four kids, and two adults. The kids were ages 2, 4, 6, and 12. Yet you gladly opened your small home to me and my daughters. Things weren't always easy, but we made it work. You helped when Sissy was going through what I like to call her "Adjustment Phase". I know I have not always been an easy person to love. I know I have not always been an easy person to reach out to. I thank you for loving me even when I was pretty unlovable. (And that was a lot.........for a long time) I know I go through phases where I seem to need you a lot. Thank you for putting up with me. Your acceptance, friendship, and companionship mean more to me than I could ever say. I have been so blessed to have you in my life. (Even though it hasn't always felt like a blessing to me) I remember when we were kids I would be mean to you, then you would steal my stuff. Then I would say mean things to you. Then you would steal more of my stuff. I really hated it at the time. As an adult I can understand why we did all the things that we did to each other. Now, I would give you anything that I could if I knew you wanted it. (Except for my Ipod) I know you are moody and ill. Remember, this too shall pass. I vow to put up with your moody, ill self, as you put up with me being that way and I wasn't even pregnant. I am sorry I threw the container of hamburger helper at you that time when we lived in NC. I didn't really want to hurt you, I just wanted you to shut up. I am sorry I pushed you away when you were pregnant with Nick. (Also when we lived in NC) I am sorry I smacked you around when were kids. (Until you got big enough to smack back) I am sorry that I didn't like you much for a while. It was because someone told me a lie about you and I believed it. I am sorry I hid in your room like a coward the other night when you and Marlette got into it. I confess that I was saving myself.

I know the road you are traveling now is not an easy one. I promise I will do whatever I can to help. You only have to ask. I am so thankful for the relationship we have now. I am thankful that you are the loving, forgiving, giving person that you are. I am glad you are my sister. I am also glad that since I am the smallest of the girls, that you would beat someone up for me if I needed you to.

Your Grateful Sister,


P.S. Thankfully, the ill, moodiness has not been directed at me personally(yet).


Within hours of posting this blog I got the receiving end of your hormonal, ill-tempered self. That's OK I love you anyway.

No comments: