Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Icky Valentine's Day

I have to tell you what happened this weekend. On Valentine's Day in fact. For the most part, I reject Valentine's Day and all it stands for. Why? Well duh.....cuz I'm single of course. I suspect if I had a boyfriend I still wouldn't make a really big deal about it, maybe go out to dinner or something. If I had a boyfriend I don't think I would go so far as to say I reject all it stands for, but I am single so we'll go with that.

Last week Melissa's aunt called me(her dad's sister). She called me on Melissa's phone because she didn't have my cell phone number. Anywho, she called to ask me how I would feel about Melissa's dad coming up here to see me. She also told me that he still has "strong feelings" for me. Maybe I'm cynical, but I find it hard to believe that someone who hasn't seen me in five years has strong feelings for me. Not only has he not seen me face to face in five years, we have been apart for FIFTEEN YEARS. Not fifteen months, fifteen years. He doesn't even know me. He doesn't know ANYTHING about the person I am now. He doesn't know that I have this blog, or that I have found that I really love to write. He doesn't know that I love to write about the irritating things that happen in life and how I try to find the humor in it (I do, don't I?) There many things about me that he has NO CLUE about. Therefore, I reject his statement that he has strong feelings for me. I submit to you four or five readers, that he is:

1. Desperate because he just seperated from his wife and has never really been single in his life.

2. Any strong feelings he THINKS he has are for the girl that I was 15 years ago, and not the woman I am now.

3. Crazy. Why? How in the world can I have any romantic feelings for a man who does not help raise his child emotionally or financially. (Which I told his sister BTW) I am really sensitive to this nowadays as I am working two jobs and possibly suffering from PMS.

I got completely sidetracked with my little tirade. Sorry. Anyway, I basically told her that I wasn't interested and left it at that. Saturday, she calls me again. We talked for a few minutes and then she dropped the bombshell. He was in my town. He had been in town all day. Melissa and I had no clue. I didn't want to see him. AT ALL. Melissa was upset and so was I. How dare he force himself on us like this! We didn't ask him to come here. Heck, we didn't even want him here. He has barely had anything to do with Melissa since we moved here.

I sucked it up for Melissa's sake. She felt bad about him driving all the way here. She didn't want him to leave without getting to see her. I relented and let him come to my sister's house.

I really have a problem with him trying to force his way into our lives for his own selfish purposes. It really pisses me off. (Could be the PMS...again, I'm not sure) I don't know how many different ways I can say NO. At least he doesn't have my phone number, that would probably send me over the edge.


Astarte said...

OMG, that is OBNOXIOUS! I think you're absolutely right, he's freaking out about being single, and is sorry for himself / wants to be reassured that you have been pining for him all this time. He is one messed up person, and I hate that your daughter ended up feeling obligated like that. If it continues, I think you should agree to meet him somewhere, but then tell him off and say that if he continues to harass you that you'll take legal measures to make sure he can't. Even if you really wouldn't, at least that would convey how upset you are.

Merrie said...

I think your instincts are right on. If he can be something to his daughter at all, fine. But he'll never even have a shot with you until he stepped up to the dad plate, and it doesn't sound like that's going to happen. I can't imagine being a parent and not being in my child's life -- never have understood how anyone can do that.
You handled it all well!

Farrell said...

WOW. That's just about all I can say: Wow. now you have to update us on how the actual meeting went...

HW said...


How interested can he be if he had his sister call you? Didn't we outgrow that in junior high.

I suspect one clear way to get rid of him is to mention back child support. Perhaps ask for his social security number; then watch him high tail it out of there.

I'm sorry that you and Melissa have to go through this.

Mental P Mama said...

If he wants a relationship, he should attempt one with his daughter. Gah. I'm interested to know how their meeting went....