Sunday, March 1, 2009

To: Readers From: Melissa

Many of you are curious to know what I think of my dad and how our visit went so I thought I would let you briefly into my world. I was not impressed that he just showed up. I don't like when people just "show up" and I felt like I was forced to see him because what kind of person would I be if I just made my dad leave after driving 8 hours to come see me. Although, I do have a mean streak like my mom, I'm not cold hearted. I was tempted to send him packing because I was furious. Also I do not like the fact that he apparently thinks he has "strong feelings" for my mom. Most kids want their parents to get back together but not me!!! I would rather go jump off the nearest bridge than see my parents get back together. I live with my mom for a reason! As far as how our visit went it just felt kind of awkward. Here is this person that is suppose to be my dad but it feels like talking to a stranger. How do you have a relationship with someone who doesn't even know who you are and hasn't been apart of your life? It's not that I don't want my dad to be apart of my life but I'm not used to him being a part of my life. He has been out of my life for so long that I almost feel like I don't need him. I'm 17 years old, I make good grades, I'm responsible and mature (not fully matured I know! I don't know everything I realize this!), I'm a hard worker, I don't do drugs, I don't get in trouble, and I'm as independent as a 17 year old can be so obviously I'm doing just fine without him so why on earth would I need him now? I am willing to forgive but it will just take some time to adjust to him being apart of my life if I ever do adjust to it.


Mental P Mama said...

I think you need to follow your heart. It will never steer you wrong. And I'm glad you met with him. Taking the high road is always th best choice. Always.

HW said...

I can very much relate to what you have said about your dad. You seem very insightful and mature; you certainly can be trusted to make the right decision with this. Thank you for sharing this with us and for expressing it so well.
Your mom is very lucky to have you.

Farrell said...

Thank you so much for sharing - what a treat. Your mother has done a wonderful job raising you!
My dad has always been part of my life but he is very superficial as are our conversations so I get what you are saying. It was a shock to see him I'm sure. You handled the entire situation very well in my opinion.

Astarte said...

I'm glad that you feel so centered at such a young age. My father left when I was 3. I didn't see him until I was 17, and then it was only because he was on a trip with his new wife to see her family, and I was a side stop. I spent a lot of my life feeling like I was someone's garbage, until when I was 32 I found him and talked to him. I have since stopped, but this time it was on my terms. I'm so glad that you know what your terms are already. Your life will be so much better for it!