Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Life Sucks

I have recently come to the conclusion that right now, I.Hate.My. Life. My children are not driving me crazy(At least no more than usual). Even though last week was one disaster after another, this is not what troubles me.

I am going through one of those phases where I dread going to work in the morning, yet I dread going home in the afternoon. (Not because of my children) It's because I know that after a long day at the office, I will NOT be going home to rest and relax and enjoy time with my girls. I will be going home to do laundry because The DQ has nothing to wear. This I will do this while I simultaneously cook dinner. Then I will unload the dishwasher and reload the supper dishes.

The trash will probably need to be taken out. The phone will be ringing off the hook. For me? No. Even though The DQ is only nine, she is already a social butterfly. The girls will bicker about ridiculous things and I will be forced to intercede. Sissy will be trying to convince me that a trip to the Verizon store is a must. She dropped her cell phone in water and it is not working properly. I will NOT mention that this approximately the fifth....maybe sixth phone that has been lost, dropped, thrown into a pool, broken, etc. I will also not mention that my patience is wearing thin on having to replace cell phones. I will also not mention that I refuse to pay for another cell phone. That would be complaining, and everyone knows that I don't complain.

After taking care of all this, I will then park my butt in the computer chair, at least until ten p.m., desperately trying to figure out Algebra problems. At around ten I will be completely disgusted with the Algebra and decide that I have had enough. I will be feeling stupid and frustrated. Yet I will not complain.

My company has made a decision that our year end inventory has been moved up. It has been moved to the week of Thanksgiving. That is also when we will begin year end closings. This will not be pleasant. We will be trying to complete five days of work in three. But as I said earlier, I never complain.

In desperation, I have begun teaching The DQ how to cook. I realize that she is only nine years old, however she shows an avid interest in cooking, and I feel it will be beneficial, if I can have her start dinner before I get home. I don't know if she is old enough or ready, but I figure it's worth a shot. Why not Sissy? Because she has NO interest whatsoever in anything that involves the stove. One time she was heating up water on the stove. She transfered an empty hot pot to counter, blowing it up. The counter I mean. So, I have decided that she is not a possible candidate at this time.

In summary, what it really boils down to is, I FEEL GUILTY. Guilty that they are not getting the attention from me that they need. I am always busy with chores or school work when I am home. This is why I feel so rotten. I know this is temporary. I am half way through the quarter. Next quarter is my last, and I will only be taking two classes, one of which is online. That being said I guess I just need to buck up and hang in there for the next six weeks. I have to say that six weeks never seemed so long as it does right now......


Sissy said...

Ok I would just like to say and my mom with deny this but I had to earn my phone. This is my story and I'm sticking to it. She said and I quote "Melissa I am not buying you any more phones you'll have to work to get a new phone and pay for it yourself". So I said ok. I did chores for the longest time and finally got a new one. This is the real story. Don't believe any other deception you are told.

HW said...

I read this yesterday and could not think of anything worthwhile to say to lighten your load.

Do NOT feel guilty about the time you do or do not spend with your children. You are setting a great example for them with your work ethic; and you are doing the best job possible. I was raised by a single mother and do NOT look back and feel neglected as far as her time and attention. They may not appreciate your efforts now (most kids don't) but they will when they are adults. Really, they can smell guilt; and they feed off it. Do NOT feel guilty.

Ask yourself: Can anything give? What can be done to lighten this load? Is there room in the budget for pizza or fast food one or two nights a week? Can you use paper plates and cups to lessen the kitchen chores?

I think it's fine to let your younger daughter cook. Let her do what you are both comfortable with. Maybe plan your meals around what you know she can get started at night. Can you make a big pot of soup and eat it a couple of times a week?

You didn't ask for advice; but I really just feel your frustration and wish I could help. Hang in there. You're doing great.

Susiewearsthepants said...

I just bought a new crock pot. I am hoping this will help some with the meals. I know this will pass and it is a temporary phase. That doesn't make me feel much better in the here and now. I think I will try the paper plates/cups. I don't know why I didn't think of that myself. DUHHH!!!

Thanks for the input:)-It never offends me.