Saturday, May 3, 2008

Lessons In Life

Today is a lesson on some things I have learned recently:

1. If all of your glasses and cups mysteriously disappear, don't spend too much time wondering what is up with that. Simply open your teenage daughter's room and...voila! All the missing dishes will be there.

2. One of the allergy medicines I have been taking off and on is the generic of Zyrtec. Apparently it requires that you take it REGULARLY in order for it to be effective. No wonder I have felt so bad even after I took one of those. For immediate relief, Claritin or Tylenol Severe Allergy works best.

3. If you take your youngest daughter to eat baked spaghetti on a Saturday afternoon, you should check your face before you go traipsing all over the mall. If you don't, the next time you bother to check a mirror, you will have dried spaghetti sauce all over your chin. The irony is that I wore makeup, earrings, and a necklace. I thought I was stylin'. I don't think I can show my face at that mall again.

4. You should not go traipsing all over the mall with your child unless you are prepared to spend money. Said child will con you out of something EVERY time. Today's sensible purchases include a cell phone jacket(which is exactly that, a very small jacket designed to put your cell phone in) a ridiculous key chain in the shape of something I can't remember now, and stick on bling for the child's cell phone. In my defense the total cost of all three items was only 10 bucks.

5. If you figure out something that you are really proud of, that saved someone else an ENORMOUS amount of time, don't expect any praise for it. You will probably get a response like the following: "I knew there was a way, but I didn't have time to figure it out". Which translates to, "Hey, don't go thinking your smart or anything, I COULD have figured it out myself if I had really wanted to".

6. It is very awkward when you change hair stylists within the same salon. The lady that does my hair now filled in once for the other lady that used to cut my hair. She did such a great job that I started asking for her when I go in there. Now I feel all weird when I go in there and see the old stylist. It's nothing personal, I just like the new stylist better. I imagine the old stylist shooting me dirty looks when I am not looking.(Who can blame her, I'm a good tipper)

7. Brace yourself for this one, it might be controversial: Society should not hold a fifteen year old girl responsible for inappropriate pictures that are taken. It is OUR responsibility as parents to shelter and guide our children. Said child should NOT have to apologize to her fans. Her parents should be apologizing for THEIR lapse in judgment. Did any of you make all the right choices as teenagers? A teenager IS NOT an adult. This is why we are legally responsible for them until they reach a certain age. This is the kind of thing that happens when we start sexualizing our young girls. I once her a woman tell a six year old girl that she looked sexy. Frankly, it turned my stomach. I don't want my little girl to look sexy. Cute and adorable are preferable. (Just in case anyone is in the dark, this refers to the big "to-do" over some inappropriate pictures of Miley Cyrus that are being released in Vanity Fair magazine. She plays on the show Hannah Montana. My daughter loves it.)

If any of you have some things you have learned, I would love to hear all about it.

13 comments:

JMC said...

I learned that #1 thing a while ago. Also, any funny smells with mysterious sources? They're coming from in there too. And spoons. I have service for 12. I was once down to THREE spoons. There were 9 hidden around my daughter's room.

HW said...

The spaghetti sauce thing is kind of familiar. One time my husband and I ate pretzels at the mall and i had one with powdered sugar. Afterward I said "I'm going in to Von Maur to wash my hands. Do I have any powdered sugar on my mouth." And he said "No." Von Maur is the most upscale store in our mall. So I went into the restroom and while I was at the sink washing my hand afterward I looked in the mirror and saw a big glob of powdered sugar right on the end of my nose. So I marched out to my husband and said "when I asked if I had anything on my mouth you might have mentioned that big blog of white stuff RIGHT ON THE END OF MY NOSE THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME WALK THROUGH THE MOST EXPENSIVE STORE IN THE MALL WITH POWDERED SUGAR ON MY NOSE..." not that I'm hanging on to any bitterness or anything.

I agree with you about the Mylie Cyrus thing. It is so unfortunate what she was allowed to do. And I am sad for her that there was not one adult in the room that was willing to say "Stop!!! We will not go this route." You know? Save her from this sad outcome. She needs guidance and I surely question the direction her parents are heading with her career.
I really enjoyed this post, as I do all of them.

Farrell said...

I once her a woman tell a six year old girl that she looked sexy. Frankly, it turned my stomach. ditto and shudder. gross.

Don Mills Diva said...

I totally agree with you on the last one - someone needs to apologize but it's not the 15-year-old child who is making everyone around her rich...

Susiewearsthepants said...

JMC-The spoon thing happened once. I was soooo ticked off. I actually went out and bought more silverware. Then one day, I mysteriously had a drawer FULL of spoons. I later found out they had been in my daughter's room!

LaskiGal said...

"It is very awkward when you change hair stylists within the same salon." I hear ya! I so want to go to another stylist, but my current one just plain old scares me . . .

As for #7--I wholeheartedly agree! You just know the parents KNEW about it. Let's hope it was a temporary lapse in judgment.

Oh, as for the spaghetti--well, the other day we took J to the store whose name will go unmentioned and he was covered in prunes and pears. I thought the hubs cleaned him up, the hubs thought I did. Never did we bother to look at our poor little guy's face. I can only imagine what people were thinking. Oh, well. Kid likes his food!

Thanks for stopping by. Ugh. Didn't mean to write a novel in your comments section . . . I'm a big commenter (and a big tipper, too!).

Susiewearsthepants said...

laskigal-That's OK, glad to have you stop by!

oda41143 Missy said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I read a few of your posts and have decided to check you out regularly!!! You're hilarious. Also, for allergies, my kids use Singular. I live in Kentucky, which I have a feeling is number 1 for allergy problems. They do good while on it, but if I miss one pill, they are screwed. I suffer myself a little, but not as much as them. I use Children's Benadry. I get a little relief and it doesn't completly knock me out so that I can't sleep through a kiddie problem. Adult stuff knocks me flat. Have a great day.

Momma said...

Ooh, ooh! Number 6 - I just did that, too!

For one thing, the stylist I had been seeing was doing a CRAPPY job. It's like the longer I went to her, the worse the haircuts got. And she couldn't understand that I wanted (and needed) to stop using hair color.

Finally, I called the front desk and asked them if they had another stylist who was good with curly, rather coarse hair and who could do foil highlights to help me get through this awkward phase of letting the gray come in. They put me with Bonnie. The biggest "out" for me? My original stylist no longer works Saturdays, and I don't know about you, but I like for my appointments to be at MY convenience. That's what it's all about, right?

Thanks for visiting my blog. Peace - D

Susiewearsthepants said...

Momma-I agree. We are paying customers after all!

Leanne said...

Yep. The Mom was THERE. Stupid woman, not child.

Oh, and I'n with you on the missing dishes too. So much for the rule of not being allowed to eat in one's room....

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

If you can get through the whole mall and only waste 10 dollars, you're doing pretty well...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and for your kind words...I love to make people laugh.

Karen MEG said...

This was a funny post!

I always wondered what it would be like to change stylists in the same salon ... but always too chicken. I just usually leave the salon.

And I agree with you 100% re: Miley. I personally think she's a doll, but it's the adults around her (parents and, I know Annie Liebowitz is a highly renowned photog and all, but she could have shown better judgement, being a woman and a mother as well.