Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Drama Queen

Kering Grace is my baby. Probably my last child as I don't even have the prospect of going on a date in the near future. Aside from being my baby, she is also a drama queen. I do not use that expression lightly. She has been that way ever since she was really little. I remember the days when ANY sign of ANY skin being broken was just cause for a bandage.

At first I blew it off her just being little and wanting the attention. I remember the time she fell and told me she thought her leg was broken and she probably needed to go to the hospital. I remember thinking that it was cute that she thought a hospital visit was necessary for a fall. I told her that if she went to the hospital she would probably have to get a shot.

That shut her up......for a brief moment. Here lately, everything that happens to her is something that, "hurts really bad". It.Is.Driving.Me.Crazy. I am not insensitive to bumps and bruises that occur from being a kid. However, the whiny complaining really tries my patience. I CONSTANTLY hear things like, "Mom, I fell at school today and now my leg hurts really bad". Or, "Mom I bumped into the table and now my side hurts really bad". Yesterday she told my that she had gotten hurt and could she go up to the bonus room and get the crutches. CRUTCHES. Yes, crutches. For a fall that did not even leave the slightest bruise or break even the smallest amount of skin.

I thought years ago that this was a way for her to get attention. So in all my motherly, infinite wisdom, I NEVER play into the drama. I try to say something sensitive, yet at the same time keep her from playing into it even more. I usually say something like, "I'm sorry you got hurt, it will feel better soon". I NEVER gush or act anxious. I don't say things like, "Oh my goodness, that looks terrible". I don't nor have I ever babied her over her supposed injuries. I am afraid that would just make it worse.

Before anyone gets a chance to go there, don't worry. She gets PLENTY of attention around here. We spend time everyday talking about her day at school and upcoming events, or anything that might be bothering her with her friends. I always make it a point to listen when she talks. (Unless she interrupts, which she is prone to do on occasion)

The fact of the matter is that my child loves to be the center of attention. If we have company, she will jump up and down and raise her hand for her turn to speak. You will think she is ready to dazzle you with some really deep insight, or some thoughtful comment. Usually when I give her permission to talk, she will say something like, "May I go outside and see if so-and-so can play?". She raises her hand to talk because I taught her that it is rude interrupt when adults are talking. So MOST of the time, she won't interrupt. But she will stand there and do everything she can to get your attention.

The last fews days, I find myself really short on patience in dealing with her constant injury drama. I KNOW she is not really hurt. I am her mother, it's my job to know. Just like I KNOW when she is sick. Really sick. Not that, "my throat hurts a little, I think I need to stay home from school" sick. I would like to find a healthy way to stop her complaining.

I am not kidding, as I was typing she came up to me and told me something "still hurts really bad". If it were once in a while, it wouldn't bother me. I bet if I kept track, everyday she would tell me that something "hurts really bad". I am going to start tomorrow. I will keep my faithful readers informed of this study. In the meantime, if anyone knows of a healthy way I can break this habit, feel free to leave a comment.

I noticed a few blogs ago, that someone questioned another commenter's advice. Please do not this. I welcome all tips, especially since I am asking for them. I may not take all the advice, but I like to consider all of it, and I appreciate all of it. You may not agree with what others suggest, but please don't call them out on my blog. It's rude, so keep it to yourself.


Anonymous said...

I "found" you on the Amazing Trips comments... what you said "hits home" for me.

I've been divorced for eight years, have two girls who are now 18 and 21 and away at college. I am "there" - the place you fear (the place I feared too!) It's hard because your life is their life and you do need to find your own way when they leave. That's a challenge I still face.

So, treasure these days, and when their time to leave comes, you will know you did all you could to raise two lovely girls. And that will comfort you. It does me.

Becky (becali9@yahoo.com)

p.s. I'd gladly give away my "pants" too! Especially when in the subzero temps when I am snowblowing!

Karen Deborah said...

did you read about Tigger's bones growing from her spine into her throat? We've got LOTS of drama, daily doses of it. I have not found a dram delete button anywhere. If you find a cure let me know. Maybe she is having "growing pains?"
In nursing school they taught us those are real. ahhh hum, yep that's what they said.

John said...

Growing pains are real I use to get them. Growing pains:Mysterious pains in growing children, usually in the legs.
Growing pains aren't a disease. In fact, there's no evidence that growth hurts. Still, growing pains are real for many kids about 15 percent. It seems to be more common in girls.
Growing pains typically end by the teen years. In the meantime, simple comfort measures can help your child make it through the night. Approximately one-third of children with growing pains also experience other forms of recurrent pain, such as headaches or abdominal pain

HW said...

I am laughing so hard because Keri sounds so much like my daughter. And she does have an ache or pain EVERY DAY. We have wrist splints, finger splints, ankle splints, ace bandages, elastic braces....you name it, we have it around the house to ease the pain of her "injuries" so she can still do her sports. OK, she did actually break her thumb once, and she has been on crutches once (legitimately) for a sprained ankle. One time, a few years ago, she actually told me her tongue hurt. Her tongue. NNNYYYYAAAAAGH!
When she was 2 and 3 she had a band-aid on her body ALL THE TIME.

I have to ask. Was it my comment, you were talking about somebody challenging? Cause I didn't mind a bit. It's a good way to keep the comments flowing. Of course if somebody gets rude to me, I will gladly invite them over to my own blog and take them on myself - in a civil way of course. But it's a good rule to have, and I admire that you're asking people to play nice. I keep thinking I need to post something very controversial to get the comments flooding in. And if it wasn't my comment, then I'll just go on my very self-centered way.
I have no advice for you with the "injury prone" Drama Queen, as mine is 14 and still does it.

Susiewearsthepants said...

HW-I always feel so much better when I find out that I am not the ONLY one with a drama queen. Yes it was your comment that sparked my little note. However, I tend to appreciate your point of view that everyone should have their say. I don't want to become the comment Nazi up in here.

Susiewearsthepants said...

John and Karen-I would think growing pains except for the fact that she only complains when she falls or runs into something. She has an "injury" that she is associating with the alleged pain.

HW said...

Perhaps we could get our girls together and they could "one up" each other all day long on their injuries.
"I scraped my knee."
"Well, I scraped my knee AND my elbow."
"Mine needed stitches."
"Once I got FOUR stitches in my head."
"I cracked my head open once and it bled for hours."
"I broke my thumb in softball."
"I broke my thumb AND my index finger..."

Farrell said...

Did I do it? I hope not. If so, point it out to me so i can see and avoid in future.

Susiewearsthepants said...

Farrell-not you! not to worry. I don't think any harm was meant, I was probably just being a little sensitive.

Susiewearsthepants said...

HW-then Keri would say, "yeah but mine hurts really bad".