Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Skinny

I have always been thin. When I was little I was skinny and had knobby knees. Trying to find clothes that fit was a nightmare. Most of my clothes were hand-me-downs anyway. It was rare that there would be something “just my size”. Being told how skinny I was all the time didn’t really affect how I felt about myself until I reached adulthood. After all, it wasn’t really an insult. I remember the first time I felt truly offended by a stranger’s comment about my size. I was in my early twenties working as a receptionist. A fast talking, smooth salesman came into the lobby area. I remember how he just kept going on and on about how skinny I was.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he suggested that I needed to eat some doughnuts. I felt very insulted. I used his business card to call his supervisor and complain. Most people would not walk up to an overweight person and point out how overweight they are. Nor would they offer suggestions as to how the overweight person might be able to lose some weight. That would be considered rude. Yet people don't think twice about offering suggestions on how I could gain weight. I have been told many things over the years. I was told to drink beer, once an elderly lady in the grocery store told me to drink milkshakes to put on weight. I'm sorry but that is just rude. I couldn't help being skinny any more than my sister could help being a little naturally chubby.

I am sorry if you look at food and gain weight. For many years I wished that I could look at food and gain weight. I wished that I had a nice curvy behind. I wished that I had nice curvy hips. Thankfully, after years of this, The Lord(and time and age) has smiled upon me. When I got pregnant with Sissy I weighed 99 pounds. 99 pounds. Now, at 32 my average weight is 115. It makes me so proud.

There is nothing more insulting than being told you look anorexic, or being asked flat out if you are. I was even asked once if I was bulimic. Like I would just admit to it outright if I was. That is the equivalent of walking up to an overweight person and telling them that they are fat and need to lose some weight.

I know this seems like a random blog, but I had to write an English paper and this didn't work out for my paper, but I thought it would make an interesting blog. So if you see me, don't hate me because I am a small woman. I didn't ask for it. It's just what God gave me.


HW said...

I understand what you are saying....I THINK.

I tend to believe however that society does value "thin" more than "fat." And Society's idea of each is warped. And I tend to believe that it is more socially acceptable to look down on an overweight person. I have heard it called the "last acceptable prejudice..."

I am overweight, mainly because of a medication I've taken for 10 years. My mom is thin and has a big thing about weight. Fat equals bad in her eyes. My sister is way, way, underweight, and I think she enjoys its. She is constantly telling me how hard it is to find clothes "small enough to fit..." It is hard for me to listen to because I feel really bad about the weight I have gained. She also eats barely anything, although she insists she tries to gain weight.
You don't strike me as the type person who would rub it in somebody's face that you are thinner than they are; nor would you pretend it bothered you if it really didn't.

What it comes down to is loving yourself. That is what I pray for nightly as I diet right now. "Lord, just help me learn to love myself,like You love me, no matter what the number on the scale says."

You have spoken to my heart today.

So...I should NOT envy women who are thinner than I am????

Susiewearsthepants said...

LOL-maybe a little is OK, just don't hate them. Remember, not ALL skinny women live on salads. I eat some pretty bad stuff sometimes. It just doesn't affect my weight no matter how hard I try.

KC said...

It is so annoying how our society makes people feel like they have to fit a mold..
"You need to gain weight..You should think about losing weight.."
This is just crap!!! Don't ever let anybody make you feel bad about yourself. You just need to be who God made you to be. The exterior isn't the most important thing anyway, but the heart inside is.
You know me..gotta put my two cents in. love ya.