Friday, December 14, 2007

Tears and Lessons Learned

My sanity is in question. For the most part, I like to feel as though I have a pretty good handle on my emotions. Most of the time. As my last blog indicated, I have been feeling somewhat emotional. Actually, I had been feeling sappy. Not depressed, just extra mushy. I have moved forward to the next level, which means emotional breakdowns.

Maybe it's because I just finished a stressful semester at school. Maybe it's the stress of the holidays and Sissy's birthday being in the same week. Sissy turns 16 on Dec. 19th. Her party is tomorrow. Those who read my blog regularly will know that I bought her car a few months ago. I did it then because I got a great deal on the car, and I had the money. I KNEW I would not have the money later-which is now. I digress.

Maybe it's because my daughter is beginning her journey to womanhood, and soon she will be all grown up. Maybe it's because my insurance is getting ready to skyrocket and I will never have any money again.

Whatever the problem is, this morning I was talking on the phone to my sister while Sissy and I were on our way to an appointment. I was telling her how a couple of things that I planned for Sissy's party had fallen through. With no prior warning, I started boo-hooing. Anyone who knows me, knows that I DO NOT have breakdowns. In fact, I very seldom cry. Over anything. I attributed my sappiness to Christmas time cheer. What do I attribute emotional breakdowns to? Do I have some kind of hormonal imbalance. Am I losing my already lost marbles?

Whatever it is, I really am not impressed. Now is not the time for me to fall apart. It's what?....nine days until Christmas. Most of the shopping is done. The presents are wrapped and under the tree. The kids are excited. Our home is full of holiday cheer. We are clothed, warm, and fed. What do I have to be sad about? Nothing I tell you. That's why I am convinced I am about to lose it or something. I may have to consider medication.

The Final Frontier

Wednesday night was my last night of on campus class. The DQ and I baked some cookies and I took them to class. Does anyone remember this blog? It's about a very rude and obnoxious woman I had class with this semester. She made a big stink about someone bringing their little girl to class. Anyway, I really had a hard time dealing with this woman. She really rubbed me the wrong way.

For some reason she took a liking to me. Don't ask me why. I was never really overtly nice to her. A couple of times I said some pretty straightforward things to her. So she actually surprised me as the semester progressed. I sensed that she did try not to be so obnoxious. I felt that she really was trying to be nicer. She even cooked and brought some food to class on Wednesday night. I was very surprised. Shocked even. Sometimes it's really easy to judge other people by what they say and how they act. Maybe this woman has things going on in her life that I don't know anything about. Maybe she is not such a bad person. Maybe she is not a Mrs. Grinch. Could it be that she is misunderstood?

I know there have been times in my life when people thought I was a complete and total B. I went through a period where I had a lot of things going on, I was mad at the world for my broken heart. I wouldn't let anyone in. So maybe if I wasn't such a bad person, this woman is not such a bad person. Everybody deserves a break once in a while.

No comments: