Show Me The Money

Dear Internal Revenue Service,

I would like to discuss the current tax situation. Mine, that is. I have never been one to give the IRS a hard time. This is because your agency, in all it's infinite wisdom, decided to give single parents a break. Your agency enacted the Earned Income Credit. The credit has allowed me to receive a generous tax refund every year, even though I pay in very little taxes. This past year, I received a substantial raise from my employer. I began paying in more taxes. In the year 2007, I payed in more federal taxes than I have ever paid in my life. I was trying to break even. I didn't want a refund. I didn't want to owe your agency either. When I did my taxes, I discovered quite happily that I would be receiving a generous refund this year. I was overjoyed. Then I discovered that due to system upgrades, I will be unable to file my taxes until February 11th. Under normal circumstances this would not be a problem, however I am in desperate need of a new car. I have been sharing a car with my sixteen year old daughter. Have you ever tried to share a car with a teenager? No, I thought not. The car has a few issues. Recently, we were unable to get the interior light turned off. Last night the car charger broke. The transmission is also slipping a little. I really need my money.....ASAP. I am usually not in any particular hurry to receive my refund, however under the circumstances, I would appreciate it if your agency would process my refund at your earliest convenience. Any other time I would have my refund by now, and not even have a plan as to what the money will be spent on. The ONE YEAR that I really need my money, you decide to upgrade your system. I find this to be a major inconvenience. I am aware that millions of other taxpayers are having to wait to file their taxes also. At this time I cannot be concerned with that. If you could find a moment to expedite my refund, I am sure I could find a generous way to express my thanks. Maybe a cake or a plate of cookies would be acceptable, as I am not a very good cook. Please respond to my request as soon as possible. Otherwise, I will be forced to take whatever action I deem necessary.

Impatiently Yours,


A Desperate Taxpayer