Saturday, December 29, 2007

Merry Christmas (A Few Days Late)

Merry Christmas to friends and family near and far. We had a very special Christmas at my house this year. Because the girls had an obscene amount of gifts under the tree.....nope. Maybe because of the delicious assortment of chocolate candy left by Santa...not quite.

The DQ started asking me around Thanksgiving if her daddy could spend Christmas with us. I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I told the DQ that if her daddy wanted to spend Christmas with us that I didn't mind. Sure enough, a couple of weeks later he called and asked if he could spend Christmas with us. I agreed. I was on pins and needles for a couple of weeks, wondering if something would happen and he wouldn't be able to come.

Then I would have to break her heart by telling her something had come up blah, blah, blah. Anyway we got our Christmas miracle. Her dad lives eight hours away. He drove down and The DQ got a Christmas with both her parents in the same house for the first time in nine years. Our last Christmas together was when she was four months old. By the next year, we were already separated.

It really is so much better for children if divorced parents can find a way to get along. I know it's hard, but it gives children an incredible peace of mind. It is heartbreaking for children to watch the people that they care about the most in the world at each others thoats.

I honestly harbor no ill feelings about the demise of our marriage. We both equally destroyed it. At any rate, this was a special happy Christmas for our family. I know everyone can't do what I did for various reasons. It might be too uncomfortable for some families to have an ex in the home for the holidays. I was glad to have the opportunity to teach my daughter what Christmas is really about. Love, hope, forgiveness, and the belief that miracles come in all shapes and packages. Sometimes you find a miracle where you least expect it. I can't change the past, but I can do everything in my power to change the future for my daughters.

I don't know if her dad realizes what a special gift he gave to our daughter, just by being here. The fact that he made it through two family get togethers with all of us is a miracle in itself. My miracle was seeing my daughter's happiness and......he fixed my toilet.

1 comment:

HW said...

I have been thinking of posting about this very topic for some time now.

This is the greatest gift you could EVER give your daughter. I am so thrilled for her and so thankful for you and her dad.

My parents have been divorced for 30+ years and still cannot be in the same room together, mostly thanks to my mom's hatred, anger, jealousy and refusal to move on.

It is truly a great gift when parents, if they must divorce, can find a way to get along for the sake of their children. I see it often around here, where parents are managing to raise their children together despite divorce, and it makes me so glad that their kids will not be 40 years old and heartbroken.

Again, I am so thankful for you right now.

Great Job.