I really like the title of my last blog. It just popped into my head. “The Misfit Mom”. I think I really must be. What is a misfit mom anyway? I am the mom who never turns the field trip permission slip on time. I am usually completely clueless about the school events. I often don’t realize anything is going on until I ride by the school and see all the cars in the parking lot. When Keri was younger, the parents used to take turns sending in snacks for the children. I was the parent that had to run out on my lunch hour and pick up snacks and take them to the school. I would forget that it was my day to provide the snacks. Let me tell you how fun that is when you work 30 minutes away from the school.
I am never able to get time off from work to attend field trips either. The school conveniently holds all field trips during the busiest week of the month for me. I am sure my boss would laugh me right out of his office if I dared to ask for time off during closing week. Aside from that, I am not really sure if I want to hang out with a bunch of noisy kids anyway. I think I would rather be at work.
The field trip permission slip is one of my perpetual mishaps. One of two things will happen. The first scenario is that the school sends the permission slip home a month before the field trip. I will procrastinate filling it out, and then it ends up lost. The second one is that some child, we’ll call her Not Keri; loses the permission slip. In either case I end up having to send a handwritten note, which says:
Please allow my child, Kering to attend the school field trip tomorrow. I am sorry I am such a lame mom who cannot send or keep up with the permission slips you send home. I am also enclosing a check for the two dollars required to attend the field trip. I apologize for having to send a check for two dollars, but I never keep cash on me, and I just found out about this field trip.
I am forever more getting notes telling me that Keri’s lunch account is in the negative and I need to send money right away. This usually happens at the time of the month when I am flat broke too. There was a small example of this misfit parenting on Friday. My kids had an abbreviated day. The school day was only two hours. They call it a registration day. Keri was going to ride home with her BFF and spend the night with her. We had already planned for her to catch a ride home from school with the BFF. Melissa suggested I send a note with Keri giving her permission to ride home with BFF. I shrugged it off and told Melissa she wouldn’t need a note for the first day of school. It was only a two-hour day after all. They wouldn’t know which bus to put her on anyway.
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Her BFF’s mom had to put Keri’s teacher on the phone for me to give her permission to ride him with the girl. I had to apologize to the teacher for not sending a note with Keri. Great, the first day of school and I am already screwing things up. Part of reason for my most recent “Misfit Mom” episodes are because I was in school and could barely keep up with anything. The other problem lies with Keri. She is the worst about not giving me notes that come home from school.
One of my favorites is when they want me to make some sort of costume. Are you kidding me? Me? Make a costume???? I think not. I am lucky to be able to get my pants on right, now you want me to MAKE something? I usually end up throwing together some of her regular clothes and then explaining to her why it really could be a costume.
This year I am determined to leave my Misfit Mom status behind me. I feel that I am doomed for failure, but it doesn’t hurt to try. I am going to clear a spot on the computer desk and get myself a plastic “Inbox”. Keri will be required to remove ANYTHING from her backpack that I need to see and/or sign and leave it in the Inbox. She is in 5th grade now. It’s time for the kid to take on some responsibilities anyway. I would prefer that she get a job, but almost ten year old kids aren’t allowed to work in this state. I will settle for her being responsible for getting important papers to my attention. After all, I can’t read the notes if they are in her backpack. The biggest hurdle is going to be for her to REMEMBER to put the papers in the inbox.
I think if it doesn’t work out maybe I should consider the possibility that I have Misfit Children. I am sure something like that must be in the genes.