My nephew came home with me from the pool on Saturday. Melissa also had one of her friends stay over. It was the end of the week and the food was getting mighty scarce in my house. There were extra kids and not a lot of food. I had milk, but no cereal; I had eggs but not enough for everyone. I decided that I would slice up a fresh pineapple and then make some muffins for everyone. Did I ever mention that I am the Queen of homemade muffins? I will share my wonderfully delicious recipe:
Go to store.
Buy Martha White muffin mix.
Go home and pour muffin mix and milk in large bowl.
Pour muffin mixture in muffin pan and bake at 425 degrees for 14 minutes
Voila! Homemade muffins.
Anyway, I poured my muffin mix into my large bowl, and then added 1 cup of milk. Which would have been fine if I was making TWO PACKAGES of muffins. I only had one package, which calls for a ½ cup of milk not 1 cup. I was still in my pajamas; I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet. I didn’t want to waste the muffin mix, so I formulated a diabolical plan. I would drive to the store in my pj’s but send one of the children inside to fetch another package of muffin mix. I mean after all, I couldn’t be expected to go in the store with stank breath and in my pajamas. That would just be wrong. One of the children would have to be sacrificed. Luckily for me, Keri is an agreeable child and it was very easy to convince her to go in the store for me. Little did I know that this would set the pace for me to screw things up all day. I’m not one to have a negative attitude, but when you start the day off screwing up breakfast, that’s usually a sign that your day will not go as planned.
Public embarrassment is now my hobby. Apparently I am unable to go out in public without doing something to humiliate myself. Keri and I went to Target yesterday to shop for a backpack. She got a gift card from The SM(see previous post for clarification). They didn’t have the polka dotted one that she saw online. She settled for a hot pink one instead. We go through the line and I hand the clerk the gift card. He slides the card and then gets a peculiar look on his face.
He says to me, “It’s says this card is for Starbucks only”. I have been feeling a little snappy lately, and this immediately set me on edge, as I couldn’t afford the backpack without the gift card. I made sure to put the receipt for the gift card in my purse. I told him as I dug through my purse, “I have the receipt right here. It’s not a Starbucks card it’s a TARGET gift card”. I hand him the receipt, he looks at it and says again, “It’s says it’s for Starbucks only”. I say to him feeling kind of ticked off now, “It’s a TARGET gift card, it’s not a Starbucks gift card”. He looks down at the card at the same I do, and then he says, “This is a Wal-Green’s gift card”. Go smart girl. I handed him the wrong gift card. I had an old Wal-Green’s gift card in my purse that I hadn’t thrown away yet. It really sucks when you just KNOW you are right about something and then you get the smack down put on you like that.
Of course, once I dug the TARGET gift card out of my purse, the purchase went off without a hitch. I don’t even know why I bother to leave my house. I should resign myself to shopping online and just have everything delivered to my house, thus sparing me from putting my big foot in my mouth every time I walk out the door.