Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A New Writer Among Us

Last night two things happened. The first is that I went on a crazed, manic tirade and cleaned out drawers and cabinets. I filled up two garbage bags full of crap that, “just couldn’t be thrown away”. You know the junk I’m talking about, the mysterious cords that seemingly do not operate anything in your house. What about that phone book from three years ago that never made it to the recycle bin? Batteries, pens, old mail, notebooks, instruction manuals, the junk was never ending.

What caused this temporary insanity? Melissa needs a very expensive calculator, of which I have two of them. IF I can find either one of them. I took a math class in college that required this ridiculous calculator, now Melissa’s Algebra class is using them. THAT’S what I was looking for. A friggin’ calculator. A friggin calculator that caused me to spend my entire evening emptying out cupboards and drawers. A calculator that forced me to acknowledge that every available space in my home, has become a JSU (Junk Storage Unit).

As I whirled around my house like a soccer mom on crack Tasmanian Devil, doing laundry, folding laundry, cleaning out the drawers, putting away groceries (grocery shopped last night too) something else happened. When I eventually wound up in Keri’s room and dumped out her nightstand drawers, I found something interesting, and hee-larious. If Keri knew I was doing this, she would never speak to me again, and make sure that I wind up in a nursing home the first time I fall and break my hip.

I found this paper that had the beginning of a story on it. I will now reprint this excerpt in its entirety:

Chapter 1

My Life Changes Forever

My life started out normal. I had friends, a mom, a dad, and a brother and sister. I had dreams. Of course a huge crush on a boy (What girl doesn’t) Back to the dream thing. My dream was to become a star. I had already had wrote some songs. I sing them in my room. I’ve never sang in public only at school. If I really do become a singer I’m still going to go out with my friends and have a good time. And my friends are going to be in my band. I’m going to live in Hollywood. Or maybe New York. Who really cares were I live. The only thing standing in my way of living my dream is my mom. She wants me to be a teacher. That’s never going to happen. I don’t know why my mom doesn’t want me to live my dream. I guess moms are just like that. My sister thinks that to. She wants to be a vet but mom wants her to be a doctor. But sometimes mom can be cool.

Written by Keri Rogers

Retyped by Susan Rogers

The problem is that this is all I found. I have no idea what happened to the girl, or her dreams. Oh well, hope you guys find this as funny and entertaining as I did.

Edited to add: I did not find the calculator but all my drawers got cleaned out. Also, I like how in Keri's story, you can tell she feels bad about the mom being the villian. Note at the end how she says that, "sometimes mom can be cool".


Farrell said...

First I did my basement...drawers and cabinets and closets are next....I'm not sure I'll be done by the end of the year!

HW said...

I'm PLANNING on doing a big cleaning project. Does it count that I think about it a lot.

Did you find the calculator?

How old was Keri when she wrote that? Because it's prett good.

john said...

that is funny Keri got your genes for sure..

Susiewearsthepants said...

HW-ALL that work and no calculator. Sigh-the devastation. I think Keri must have written that pretty recently based on the handwriting.

creative kerfuffle said...

i found you by way of comment links--too funny about the calculator : )

Anonymous said...

Oh I HATE it when that happens! I usually get distracted by all the stuff I rediscover and forget what I was looking for!!

LOL at Keri but at least mom is sometimes cool!

Mental P Mama said...

"The only thing standing in my way of living my dream is my mom." LOL. What a treasure you have there!

Susiewearsthepants said...

Mental P-That line cracked me up too! :)

Merrie said...

hahaha Good to know that sometimes you can be cool.
My dad found something that I wrote years ago that had him in the story, and he actually xeroxed it and gave it to people. I think the private blog is a much better choice.