Thursday, August 21, 2008

Out Of The Mouth Of Keri

In celebration of Keri’s tenth birthday yesterday, I have decided to compile some stories about her that I don’t THINK I have previously blogged about. I didn’t have a blog when she was little, so this will have to do.


When Keri was about four, she won a goldfish from the fair. We brought the goldfish home and went to the pet store. We bought a goldfish bowl and the whole nine yards. Keri named her goldfish Princess. As adults I’m sure we all know what happened to poor Princess. She died within several days. That kid cried her eyes out. You would have thought that fish had been around for years. She cried and cried and cried some more. I think she wailed something like, "Ppprrinnncceesssss, my princess is dead. My poor little princess".

 I used to work a couple of weekends a month. The company I work for pays salary employees for working weekends. The money is pretty good. Keri and I were in the car on the way to the office on a Saturday morning. I was explaining the reasons that I had to work that day. “I really need to get caught up on some things, and besides Mommy makes extra money for working on Saturdays”. We get to my office and Keri is talking to me about work and she says within earshot of my boss and in a loud voice, “YOU JUST WORK ON SATURDAYS FOR THE MONEY. RIGHT MOMMY? YOU JUST LIKE TO MAKE EXTRA MONEY ON THE WEEKENDS”. I wanted disappear. I was so mortified. Of course, I liked the extra money, but I really was behind on paperwork. I’m still not recovered from that.


Just a few days ago while riding around our neighborhood she says to me, “If we win the lottery, can we buy Michael so-and-so’s house and kick him out? I’m not trying to be mean, but he’s a big giant turd”. I see a couple of problems here. Have I raised my daughter to call people big giant turds? Have I raised my daughter to think it’s OK to kick people out of their homes and leave them homeless? Very disturbing. I mean, I know that spite is like my oxygen, but I was hoping it wouldn’t rub off on her.

A few years ago, the three of us were sitting on the deck:
 Keri: Sissy truth or dare?
 Melissa: Truth 
Keri: Is true that you fell asleep during sixth period today?”……….

Keri has always had a love of animals. I got her a cat named Punkin when she was three. Punkin has been a part of our family ever since. One afternoon, we getting ready to leave the house and there was a bee in the car. I am deathly afraid of bees. Keri is too so we both jumped out. The next thing I know, Keri is screaming at the top of her lungs, “MY BABY, MY PRECIOUS ANGEL!!!!” I said, “What baby? What precious angel? Where?” She screams, “PUNKIN, PUNKIN IS IN THE CAR, THE BEE IS GOING TO GET HER!” I comforted her and told her that a mere bee would not take down her cat, and in fact, Punkin would probably eat the bee and save the day. It was almost as if the cat knew that Keri was terrified of bees. When the cat jumped out of the car and I went and looked, the bee was gone. I’m not REALLY sure if the cat got the bee, but I like to think she did.

This last one I did put on my blog a very long time ago. Keri says to me, “Mommy, you are the prettiest mommy in whole world”. Pause, then, “Except for when you’re nekkid, but nobody looks good nekkid”.

10 comments:

Astarte said...

Those are really funny!

I suppose it's better that she thought Michael was a turd and had seen YOU nekkid, rather than the other way around. Oh, wait - that'll be in about five years. :)

georgie said...

Oh myyyy i was lol at the whole nekkid part...beans say some of the funniest stuffs I tell ya! I have a 10 yrold almost 11 and she is a handful

Mental P Mama said...

Out of the mouths of babes...and it's a good thing she'll never see me nekkid. She would be scarred for life.

JenniBeanV said...

She's right...nobody looks good nekkid. And you know that Michael kid a totally a turd! LOL!

Happy Birthday to Keri!

AND thank you so much for the blog love today! :-D

Above Average Joe said...

I got The Champ a beta from Wal-Mart 6 month ago and its still alive.

I like to say I "rescued" it from WM.

HW said...

It must be the start of school, because I've had memories of things like this on my mind a lot lately.
Keri is very funny. Keep writing down what she says and does.

Merrie said...

LOL! Happy Birthday Keri -- you're a kick in the pants with a big heart!

creative kerfuffle said...

rofl--michael the big fat turd. that's priceless.
love the goldfish named princess! my girl (11) has a cat named princess meow meow; we just call her meow.
i think keri and my daughter would soooo get along.

Farrell said...

oh man, that last line!

Karen Deborah said...

Sounds like your raising her well to me! Nobody does look good nekkid, that's what air brushed photos are for. great post.