As I sit here tonight, my brain is numb. My back hurts. My eyes hurt......my brain even hurts. What has sunk me to the bottomless pit of despair? Four.Little.Words. Introduction to College Math. Which is just a fancy terminology for Algebra. I sucked at Algebra when I was a kid, and I suck at it now. It has taken me approximately 4 hours to complete 40 problems. I am so dumbstruck that as I type I keep having to backspace because my brain is fried. Did I spell fried right? I don't know. It doesn't look right, but at this point I really could care less. When I first started back to school, I was so excited.
I was excited when I bought pens, pencils, and notebooks. I was excited the first night I went to class. I was excited when I got my first shipment of textbooks. What a wonderful opportunity for me to get a college education! I remember that first night. I went into the classroom, full of joy to be there. I looked around at the faces of my classmates. How come they didn't look excited to be there? Didn't they realize how wonderful it was to be in college?
Where was the enthusiasm? I'll tell you where. Out the freakin' window, along with the remains of their poor little brains. Week after week of classes, homework, studying, time away from their families had taken it's toll. Everyone is and was plain tired. It would take a few semesters for the drain to begin on me. Now when I go to class and see all the tired, worn out faces, I know why. I know why no one has the patience to deal with people like Mrs. Grinch
As I enter the last five months of school, I find myself SO ready to be done. I have had professors and students alike ask me why I don't pursue a bachelor's degree.(Lord does anyone know how to spell pursue? My spell check is broken) I will tell you why. Because I am tired. Tired of nights away from kids. Tired of my house not being as clean as I want it. Tired of some deadline always looming on the horizon.
As delirious as I feel now, I know that this too shall pass. I will keep on keepin' on. Why? For that long awaited day when I receive my diploma, declaring me to be a college graduate? Nope.....I will keep on keepin' on for that long awaited day when I can go back to being the nut I used to be, instead of the nut that has taken over. That day when I can go back to obsessing over the stupid stuff that I used to obsess about. When I can go back to guiltily watching Days of Our Lives on the Soapnet channel. The day when the only thing I have to worry about on my schedule are the activities of The DQ and Sissy. Yep, those are the days I diligently strive for......